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governments can develop a lot of projects for the citizen welfare

governments can develop a lot of projects for the citizen welfare RRa7Q
Actually, in many countries, people who work must pay a long amount of money for taxes, which is very positive because governments can develop a lot of projects for the citizen welfare, such as improving the road network, making better public transportation inside and outside the cities, building housing for poor people, do social projects for all kind of communities. Then, paying taxes is a great way to help all of us, especially poor people. Overall, as I said before, the money from the taxes is used for many social projects especially for education and healthcare, and we do not have to pay for these issues therefore if governments use the money in the proper way without corruption, all the citizens can be benefited. However, in countries like Colombia, which actually is the country where I was born, there is a lot of corruption from the government, and the resources for education and healthcare are embezzled, and people from rural areas cannot access the education offered by the government and also the health service is not good for those kinds of communities. Another important point to touch here is the quality of these issues because here in Colombia, the government is not interested in the quality, the only thing that they want is to save money of our taxes for their pockets, thanks to this point, if you want to have a good healthcare service or good education, you have to pay prepaid medicine for you and your family and also pay private institutions for your own or your children´s studies. In conclusion, paying a large amount of taxes help all communities especially people with big social problems in the countryside or rural area, where the governments tend to forget that they are part of our society.
Actually, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a long amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
projects for the citizen welfare, such as improving the road network, making better public transportation inside and outside the cities, building housing for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, do social projects for all kind of communities. Then, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all of us,
especially
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, as I said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social projects
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare, and we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for these issues
therefore
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the proper way without corruption, all the citizens can
be benefited
.
However
, in countries like Colombia, which actually is the country where I
was born
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
corruption from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and the resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare
are embezzled
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural areas cannot access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
offered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
also
the health service is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for those kinds of communities. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to touch here is the quality of these issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
here in Colombia, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not interested in the quality, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that they want is to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for their pockets, thanks to this point, if you want to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthcare service or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
prepaid medicine for you and your family and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
private institutions for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or your
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children´s
studies.

In conclusion
, paying a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "helps"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'help' is not always incorrect.)
help
all communities
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
social problems in the countryside or rural area, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
tend to forget that they are part of our society.
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IELTS essay governments can develop a lot of projects for the citizen welfare

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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