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Government wants to either make people pick up their own mail at the post office or have it delivered only twice a week. Which one do you prefer?

Government wants to either make people pick up their own mail at the post office or have it delivered only twice a week. Which one do you prefer? aVn0G
I firmly agree to government’s initiative on implementing door to door mail service offering to citizens on bi-weekly basis. Firstly, delivering posts at your house address improves convenience. This is due to the fact that, nobody is required to navigate or even wait long hours at a post office. For me personally, the major constraint is to spare time, from my busy work schedule just to collect a post from the mail office, which I believe is the most likely issue faced by many working professionals. One could argue that, urgent letters would be missed if they are not dispatched on the same day. Ideally, this wouldn't be a problem, why because, these letters are also posted electronically to the recipient’s mail id. For instance, important letters which we receive in our daily life’s such as credit card statement or electricity bills are not only send across to residential address but also to personal id. Therefore, it is totally okay to go ahead with fortnightly delivery of posts. Finally, I strongly consider it is a thoughtful and considerate action plan to arrange mail service in every two week’s intervals.
I
firmly
agree
to
government
’s initiative on implementing door to door mail service offering to citizens on bi-weekly basis.

Firstly
, delivering posts at your
house
address
improves
convenience.
This is due to the fact that
, nobody
is required
to navigate or even wait long hours at a post office. For me
personally
, the major constraint is to spare time, from my busy work schedule
just
to collect a post from the mail office, which I believe is the most likely issue faced by
many
working professionals.

One could argue that, urgent letters would
be missed
if they are not dispatched on the same day.
Ideally
, this wouldn't be a problem, why
because
, these letters are
also
posted
electronically
to the recipient’s mail id.
For instance
,
important
letters which we receive in our daily life’s such as credit card statement or electricity bills are not
only
send
across to residential address
but
also
to personal id.
Therefore
, it is
totally
okay to go ahead with
fortnightly
delivery of posts.

Finally
, I
strongly
consider it is a thoughtful and considerate action plan to arrange mail service in every
two week’s intervals
.
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IELTS essay Government wants to either make people pick up their own mail at the post office or have it delivered only twice a week. Which one do you prefer?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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