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Government should spend more money on railway than road. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Government should spend more money on railway than road. v. 1
Over the last half-century, there has been a booming breakthrough in the methods of transportation. Among those, trains, as well as motor vehicles, are considered the most popular means of transportation in most of the countries. Although there are some commentators who believe that the government should allocate more money on railway construction, I am strongly inclined to the view that the transportation budget should be balanced between roads and railways. Firstly, private cars play an inevitable role in our daily life. They are considered the easiest and most convenient method of transportation. In addition, they are ideal for short distances where trains cannot be used. Furthermore, roads can reach everywhere and link between the different facilities that people need every day such as houses, shopping centres, and hospitals. Consequently, constructing and maintaining roads will solve the problem of traffic congestion as well as boost road safety. For example, a recent study conducted in London has shown that increasing the budget spent on roads significantly reduced the motor vehicle accidents by 25%. Thus, roads are a crucial part of the design of any modern city. In addition, most modern trains are operated by electricity; thus they do not cause pollution in comparison to motor vehicles. For instance, according to the statistics published in Egypt, construction of new railway line in Cairo, decreased the number of traffic jams by 20%. Lastly, travelling by train saves time for the passengers since they are faster than cars and buses. To conclude, it can be clearly seen that both roads and railways are complementary methods for convenient and easy travelling. I do recommend that the government set an organized plan to improve both means of transport.
Over the last half-century, there has been a booming breakthrough in the methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Among those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
as well
as motor vehicles,
are considered
the most popular means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
in most of the countries. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commentators who believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate more money on railway construction, I am
strongly
inclined to the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
budget should
be balanced
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and railways.

Firstly
, private cars play an inevitable role in our daily life. They
are considered
the easiest and most convenient method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
In addition
, they are ideal for short distances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can reach everywhere and link between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need every day such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, and hospitals.
Consequently
, constructing and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
will solve the problem of traffic congestion
as well
as boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.
For example
, a recent study conducted in London has shown that increasing the budget spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the motor vehicle accidents by 25%.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are a crucial part of the design of any modern city.

In addition
, most modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are operated
by electricity;
thus
they do not cause pollution
in comparison
to motor vehicles.
For instance
, according to the statistics published in Egypt, construction of new railway line in Cairo, decreased the number of traffic jams by 20%.
Lastly
, travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
saves time for the passengers since they are faster than cars and buses.

To conclude
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and railways are complementary methods for convenient and easy travelling. I do recommend that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
set an organized plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
both means of transport.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railway than road. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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