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Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. with this statement? XQkr
It is noticed that, government ought to expend money on railroad rather than ways. To my mind, both of them are significant to use. Transportation plays a very important role in a country's communication system as well as the economy. Both the railway and road transports have certain advantages and disadvantages. Road transportation is more popular and has greater values. It is cheaper and easier to build and renovate than railway. Furthermore, government only needs to build railways but also build the railway stations and import rails which need a big amount of money. So it is more cautious for our government to spend more money on improving road transports and encourage local industries which are already manufacturing public transportations. Firstly, rails can carry hundreds of people and several hundred tons of goods while road transports can carry only a few. Some trains are many times faster than that of private cars and public buses. Thus improved railways would save peoples’ valuable time. Secondly, the rail lines are usually away from the main cities and that is why some busy cities have no other alternatives than to improve their rail transportation system. Express trains may reduce the traffic congestion in many cities and more investment to improve the railway is the only possible solutions in cities where a large number of people live in. In conclusion, road transport system has more advantages than railways. So a government should pay attention equally on both areas of transportation, but it more budget to develop the railway system than the road system.
It
is noticed
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to expend money on railroad
rather
than ways. To my mind, both of them are significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Transportation plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in a country's communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
as well
as the economy. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
have certain advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
transportation is more popular and has greater values. It is cheaper and easier to build and renovate than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
stations and import rails which need a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is more cautious for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to spend more money on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and encourage local industries which are already manufacturing public transportations.

Firstly
, rails can carry hundreds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and several hundred tons of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
can carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
trains are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times faster than that of private cars and public buses.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
would save peoples’ valuable time.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
lines are
usually
away from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have no other alternatives than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Express trains may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and more investment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has more advantages than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay attention
equally
on both areas of transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it more budget to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.

IELTS essay Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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