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government should spend money on art while others think they should spend on public welfare. discuss both view and your opinion.

government should spend money on art while others think they should spend on public welfare. 85dYB
Nowadays government tends to spend their funds on art while some scholars believe that government should spend the funds on welfare of the nation. This is a heated debate to be discussed in the lights of several factors before a reasonable conclusion can be drawn. To commence with, art binds the culture and traditions of the country. So, government should spend on promotion of art of the country. The first and foremost reason behind this is to attract the tourists which helps in promoting tourism sector and improving overall economic development of the country. Moreover, government should spend funds to maintain the value associated with historical buildings. In addition to this, artists should earn in their field as they show their talents. For example, a professor at Oxford University reveals that around 50% of artists depends upon government funds for fulfilling basic necessities. Furthermore, some sociologists thinks that government should spend the funds on overall development of the nation. Tax is being paid by every citizen of the nation and they expect better living of standard. Besides this, government should take steps in eradicating the poverty, better infrastructure and better education facilities. They should help in solving the problem like unemployment and should provide quality of life to their citizens. For example, an article posted on Times of India showed that half of the youngsters are unemployed in the country. So, government should spend the money in diminishing the problems of the country. To recapitulate, aforementioned provides plausible arguments over spending of money by government. In my opinion, government should spend major portion of their funds on improving the overall conditions of the country and they should spend on art too.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
tends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the funds on welfare of the nation. This is a heated debate to
be discussed
in the lights of several factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasonable conclusion can
be drawn
.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
binds the culture and traditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
first
and foremost reason behind this is to attract the tourists which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in promoting tourism sector and improving
overall
economic development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
funds to maintain the value associated with historical buildings.
In addition
to this, artists should earn in their field as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talents.
For example
, a professor at Oxford University reveals that around 50% of artists depends upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds for fulfilling
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sociologists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the funds on
overall
development of the nation. Tax is
being paid
by every citizen of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nation and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
better living of standard.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take steps in eradicating the poverty, better infrastructure and better education facilities. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in solving the problem like unemployment and should provide quality of life to their citizens.
For example
, an article posted on Times of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that half of the youngsters
are unemployed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the money in diminishing the problems of the country.

To recapitulate, aforementioned provides plausible arguments over spending of money by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
major portion of their funds on improving the
overall
conditions of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
too.
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IELTS essay government should spend money on art while others think they should spend on public welfare.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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