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Government should pay for old people

Government should pay for old people 3Y1rY
In modern cvilization time majority of people used to sent their old members of family to the centenary house. Some people say that for caring the family mumber has to be paid by government others think it should be paid by the family. From my point of your for this issue I would like to say that young generation becomes careless for their adolescence family members. For the reason of this living in a metropolis cities, they settle down in spectacular sites and wasn't able to care for their perents and grandperents. On the other hand, there are other reasons for this also First, maybe these old people don't have any family mumbers, in this case government should take care to them. Second, there are still have (let them live long live) people who have joined World War II such as veterans government should take into consider for these people who put their life in risk to save the world. In conclusion, I would like to say that all old stage people must be cared with all conditions by the family either government. were their not conquer the world, there would not be Pease all over the world
In modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
cvilization
time majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to the centenary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that for caring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
mumber
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be paid
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be paid
by the family.

From my point of your for this issue I would like to say that young generation becomes careless for their adolescence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. For the reason of this living in a metropolis cities, they settle down in spectacular sites and wasn't able to care for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
perents
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandperents
.
On the other hand
, there are other reasons for this
also


First
, maybe these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
mumbers
,
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take care to them.

Second, there are
still
have (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
World War II such as veterans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take into consider for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who put their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to save the world.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be cared
with all conditions by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
were
their not conquer the world, there would not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pease
all over the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world
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IELTS essay Government should pay for old people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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