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Government should invest in medical health or protect the environment

Government should invest in medical health or protect the environment raYq6
Up to the present, there are many arguments that government should use more money to research medical health than protect the environment. I entirely disagree with the statement.   Authorities should protect the environment. Because environmental damage put heavy pressure on people's health or anything exists in the world. In real life, many types of research prove how the environmental impact on human-being such as a greenhouse, climate change, forests fires, global warming. A great number of humans are victims and leaves serious consequences in their health from the environmental disaster above. Besides, natural disasters, the environment has been devastating effects by humans. The burning of fossil fuels and exhausting fumes in industries and factories caused the important reason of water pollution, soil pollution. This leads to various health problems, especially a decline in average life expectancy because of the pollution in food sources. Moreover, the rate of people getting cancer, mostly lung cancer increased gradually by air pollution in recent years. Conclusion, In my view, protecting the environment is a good way to guarantee our health. Government should only invest a little money in public health campaigns and raise public awareness in protecting the environment.
Up to the present, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more money to research medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
than protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I
entirely
disagree with the statement.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Authorities should protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
environmental damage put heavy pressure on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
or anything exists in the world. In real life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of research prove how the environmental impact on human-being such as a greenhouse, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, forests fires, global warming. A great number of humans are victims and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
serious consequences in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
from the environmental disaster above.
Besides
, natural disasters, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has been devastating effects by humans. The burning of fossil fuels and exhausting fumes in industries and factories caused the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason of water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, soil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. This leads to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems,
especially
a decline in average life expectancy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in food sources.
Moreover
, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
getting cancer,
mostly
lung cancer increased
gradually
by air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in recent years.

Conclusion, In my view, protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to guarantee our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
invest a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
campaigns and raise public awareness in protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
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IELTS essay Government should invest in medical health or protect the environment

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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