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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.14

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 14
There is an opinion asserting that governments should not spend their budgets on arts because it is a waste of money. Instead, they should allocate this sum of money for improving public services. I somehow agree with the given assertion and in this essay, I am going to explain my reasons in detail. To begin with, countries could introduce their culture to the world simply through their arts. To put it another way, arts such as music or theatre could make an indigenous culture known to the world on the grounds that each country injects aspects of its own culture into their arts. Take Japan, which has a unique cultural heritage, as an illustration, by listening to their music we could gain valuable insight into their culture and it would awaken our interest in this country; as a result, many people are bound to travel there and this would significantly increase economic growth. On the other hand, it is prominent to expend money on public services as well. The quality of life in a country should be a priority for the people in charge. Therefore, public services such as hospitals and public transportation need to be of paramount importance to a government due to the fact that it contributes to the people's well-being. That is to say, the higher the quality of public services in a country, the easier it is to live there. A recent survey conducted in London has revealed that people's well-fare rests largely with the quality of public services that they receive; hence, not only would invest money in public services help to have a satisfied society but also the public perception of the government's performance would become more positive. All things considered, although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on the arts is a waste of money.
There is an opinion asserting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not spend their budgets on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Instead
, they should allocate this sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. I somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
assertion and in this essay, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my reasons in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to the world
simply
through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. To put it another way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as music or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
known to the world on the grounds that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
injects aspects of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Take Japan, which has a unique cultural heritage, as an illustration, by listening to their music we could gain valuable insight into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and it would awaken our interest in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are bound
to travel there and this would
significantly
increase economic growth.

On the other hand
, it is prominent to expend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as well
. The quality of life in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be a priority for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in charge.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as hospitals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation need to be of paramount importance to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
due to the fact that it contributes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's well-being.
That is
to say, the higher the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the easier it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. A recent survey conducted in London has revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's well-fare rests
largely
with the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
that they receive;
hence
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to have a satisfied society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
perception of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's performance would become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

All things considered, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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