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Government funding should only provide scholarships for best students. All other funding should come from student fees and private organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Government funding should only provide scholarships for best students. All other funding should come from student fees and private organisations. v. 2
Many universities always spend large amount of money in scholarship which aim to encourage those students who get best grade in various filed. Some people believe that the government funding toward college should only as scholarships resources for best students and the other funding needed should be provided by private organizations or students’ fees. From my perspective, the scholarships could both be provided by person or government, and those money can also be spent in other aspect if is needed. It should not be strictly required. And the governments’ funding should also help disadvantaged students so that they can continues their study. Those best students who get top grade in faculty or creative useful things are deserved be given money as scholarships. It also can encourage other students to work hard in the next semester. However, governments also aim to support students who come from poor family. If more people can receive higher education, the whole nation will benefits from that in numerous ways. Many universities which located in developed countries can give free fund to poor students, thus students with potentials will not be barred from universities simply because they cannot pay the bill. Also, if the university spend government financial support in other aspects, it can make study fund lower so that more number of people may have chance to entering the college. Some people wish to pick up books again even though they live under poverty line. A university aim is not merely to prepare students for work head. College education could cultivate the mind of the student and enhance their overall abilities. So education is not aim of earning money. Overall, government funding should not only be used in rewarding the best students. By using those money in other field, the cost of advanced study could lower so that more people can enter the university to reach their dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
always spend large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aim
to encourage those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
grade in various filed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
toward college should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarships
resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
needed should
be provided
by private organizations or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
fees.

From my perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarships
could both
be provided
by person or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
also
be spent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect if
is needed
. It should not be
strictly
required. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "continue"
continues
their study.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
top grade in faculty or creative useful things
are deserved
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to be"
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarships
. It
also
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in the
next
semester.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aim
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poor family. If more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can receive higher education, the whole nation will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "benefit"
benefits
from that in numerous ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
which located in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
can give free fund to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with potentials will not
be barred
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot pay the bill.

Also
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financial support in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
study fund lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have chance to entering the college.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish to pick up books again
even though
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under poverty line. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aim
is not
merely
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for work head. College education could cultivate the mind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and enhance their
overall
abilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
education is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aim
of earning money.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in rewarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. By using those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
field, the cost of advanced study could lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to reach their dream.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government funding should only provide scholarships for best students. All other funding should come from student fees and private organisations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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