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Governmenfs should focus fheir spending on public services rolhet lhon on orts such os Music ond Poinling. To whol exfenl do yov ogree ot disogrce?

Governmenfs should focus fheir spending on public services rolhet lhon on orts such os Music ond Poinling. To whol exfenl do yov ogree ot disogrce? PLV8K
Some people argue that arts like painting and music fail to directly improve people's quality of life and consequently government should allocate money on other things like infrastructures to promote people's quality of life. However, I disagree with this view. ln this essay, I will explain why lthink that arts, such as music and painting, is as essential for people as other public services. The advantages of spending money on arts cannot be overlooked. The arts clearly make people's lives better. To begin with, the arts give us immense joy and relaxation. Consider listening to a beautiful sonB sitting on the sofa after a whole day's work; it really relieves the tiredness and we feel rejuvenated. Paintings, photographs and other pictures add color to our lives and often inspire people to create work of art of their own. I am not only thinking of artistic works produced by renowned artists, but also those produced by children for their parents to attach to refrigerators using magnets' Furthermore, the arts like music and painting are part of our culture and give identity to the country. Arts also bring people together. By appreciating arts, individuals from different parts of the nation could feel connected and related. Moreover, arts like music and painting can help us express our emotions. lt is a basic human need to be able to express themselves. Art is what differentiates us from animals. As humans, most of us need an outlet for our creative and emotional needs and the best way to express this is through arts like music and painting. Many people feel that the government should spend money only on certain things, such as defense, health and education. Whilst I agree that these things are important, I think that governments should be able to find a little money to spend on arts, not only because they raise our quality of life, but because they can remind us of our heritage and show the world what kind of a country and people we are. To sum up, our government is responsible for improving the quality of people's lives both physically and spiritually, therefore proper amount of money should be allocated wisely on arts. Only by this can we progress our society in a more balanced and more sustainable way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
fail to
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality of life and

consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other things like infrastructures to promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's

quality of life.
However
, I disagree with this view.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
Possible spelling mistake found.
lthink
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as

music and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
, is as essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as other public services.

The advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
cannot
be overlooked
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives


better. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
give us immense joy and relaxation. Consider listening to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
Possible spelling mistake found.
sonB


sitting on the sofa after a whole day's work; it
really
relieves the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tiredness and
we feel rejuvenated.

Paintings, photographs and other pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
color to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to create work of

art of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. I am not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
thinking of artistic works produced by renowned artists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
those

produced by children for their parents to attach to refrigerators using magnets'

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
are part of our culture and give identity to the country. Arts

also
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. By appreciating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, individuals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the nation could feel

connected and related.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us express our emotions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is a

basic human need to be able to express themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is what differentiates us from animals. As humans,

most of us need an outlet for our creative and emotional needs and the best way to express this is through

arts like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and painting.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
on certain things, such as defense, health

and education. Whilst I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that these things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be able to

find a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they raise our quality of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can

remind us of our heritage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the world what
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we are.

To sum up, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for improving the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
both
physically
and

spiritually
,
therefore
proper amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be allocated
wisely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
by this can we

progress our society in a more balanced and more sustainable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
way
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IELTS essay Governmenfs should focus fheir spending on public services rolhet lhon on orts such os Music ond Poinling. To whol exfenl do yov ogree ot disogrce?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Governmenfs should focus fheir spending on public services rolhet lhon on orts such os Music ond Poinling. To whol exfenl do yov ogree ot disogrce?