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Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1, 000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from https: //www. dailymail. co. uk/news/article-4532266/75-cent-children-want-YouTubers-vloggers. html) It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1, 000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from https: //www. dailymail. co. uk/news/article-4532266/75-cent-children-want-YouTubers-vloggers. html) It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. v. 1
It is true that young children fantasized about becoming doctors, nurses and teachers whereas today’s they desire to become renowned YouTubers or vloggers. In a research showed that more than three quarters of 1, 000 children aged six to 17 say they want to follow a job in online videos. Some people argue that is is hazardous for them to do that. In my opinion, I partly agree with this view and will explain reasons in my essay. On the one hand, I’m convinced that becoming a YouTuber or vlogger brings children a variety of benefits. It promotes children's creativity and helps children promote many skills in life. For example, when creating a compelling video, we need to invest a lot in it and speaking skills are also important to get a lot of views. Therefore, To become a well-known YouTuber, children need to absorb a lot of factors and then when they are famous, they have many outstanding sides. YouTuber is an entertainment tool, but it helps children make a lot of money when creating videos with thousands of views. This can help their parents with their expenses. On the other hand, I also believe that being a Youtuber can bring detrimental effects to children. On YouTube, the videos are very diverse, including potentially objectionable and negative videos. When children watch a variety of videos on it can cause them to learn from bad things and do something dangerous to their loved ones. For example, when watching a video troll who by fire or gasoline, they feel interesting about it, suddenly it is the same action to make others laugh and feel excited. As a result, They will be able to change in the negative direction and create threating actions which we cannot imagine. In conclusion, I believe that becoming Youtubers or vloggers have both sides. Children should know what is good to do and what is bad to avoid.
It is true that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fantasized about becoming doctors, nurses and teachers whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s they desire to become renowned YouTubers or vloggers. In
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than three quarters of 1, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aged six to 17 say they want to follow a job in online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
hazardous for them to do that. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
reasons in my essay.

On the one hand, I’m convinced that becoming a YouTuber or vlogger brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a variety of benefits. It promotes children's creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in life.
For example
, when creating a compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
, we need to invest a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in it and speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of views.
Therefore
, To become a well-known YouTuber,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to absorb a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of factors and then when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outstanding sides. YouTuber is an entertainment tool,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money when creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
with thousands of views. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents with their expenses.

On the other hand
, I
also
believe that being a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtuber
can bring detrimental effects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. On YouTube, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse, including
potentially
objectionable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
on it can cause them to learn from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
For example
, when watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
troll who by fire or gasoline, they feel interesting about it,
suddenly
it is the same action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
others laugh and feel excited.
As a result
, They will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
direction and create
Possible spelling mistake found.
threating
actions which we cannot imagine.

In conclusion
, I believe that becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtubers
or vloggers have both sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should know what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to do and what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to avoid.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1, 000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from https: //www. dailymail. co. uk/news/article-4532266/75-cent-children-want-YouTubers-vloggers. html) It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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