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Globalization is the happening at a fast pace. What are the advantages and disadvantages of globalization?

Globalization is the happening at a fast pace. What are the advantages and disadvantages of globalization? lRKAQ
Globalization is rapidly developing and becoming the aim of all countries in the world. The drawbacks of this phenomenon are varied, and its benefits are even more evident. There are several reasons why many cons can be made by globalization. Firstly, It can exacerbate pollution. International cooperations allow people to travel to every area in the world but the environment falls victim to tourism due to excessive use of one-used items or many fuels like gases and oils for transports in their journeys. Secondly, the distance between countries becomes more evident. The reason is, most people who live in poor areas want to migrate to developed countries to find a job with better conditions or high salaries so these countries can have more options from a large number of employees with low prices. Therefore, the economy of rich countries not only rapidly develops but also becomes more abundant. It is understandable why international cooperation can give many pros. The primary reason is that It can decrease many environmental issues. Pollution is seemed to be a knotty problem in the world. To explain, environmental problems do not only happen in one country, for example, the carbon emissions from a country can easily circulate to neighboring areas in the air. Therefore, improving environmental qualities necessitates international association in order to easily solve environmental problems. The second reason is that people can benefit from globalization. For instance, some big companies such as LG and SAMSUNG, which are based in Vietnam, make many abundant job opportunities for people so It can not only improve their quality of life but also reduce Vietnam’s jobless rate. In conclusion, despite the obvious downside of globalization, its merits seem to be more outstanding.
Globalization is
rapidly
developing and becoming the aim of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world. The drawbacks of this phenomenon
are varied
, and its benefits are even more evident.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons can
be made
by globalization.
Firstly
, It can exacerbate pollution. International cooperations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel to every area in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the environment falls victim to tourism due to excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of one-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
items or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fuels like gases and oils for transports in their journeys.
Secondly
, the distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
becomes more evident. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poor areas want to migrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to find a job with better conditions or high salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can have more options from
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
employees with low prices.
Therefore
, the economy of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rapidly
develops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
becomes more abundant.

It is understandable why international cooperation can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that It can decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. Pollution
is seemed
to be a knotty problem in the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
for example
, the carbon emissions from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
easily
circulate to neighboring areas in the air.
Therefore
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
qualities necessitates international association in order to
easily
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit from globalization.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as LG and SAMSUNG, which
are based
in Vietnam,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
abundant job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
It can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Vietnam’s jobless rate.

In conclusion
, despite the obvious downside of globalization, its merits seem to be more outstanding.
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IELTS essay Globalization is the happening at a fast pace. What are the advantages and disadvantages of globalization?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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