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Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides should not be ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides should not be ignored. KGP2M
Globalization has benefit for economies but its drawbacks should not be considered because gloBALIzATION improves the quality of life taste and preferences of the people. As per my view I completely agree with the positive sides of globalisation. firstly, every people has their own preference and choice about their products. some people like foregin goods and few like domestic goods. one decade ago almost people spend their money on local goods and satisfied with them. but due to increasing trend and technology most people prefer the foreign goods. presently due to globalisation people can buy any product from any country thety want with the help of technology. Secondly, globalization has many benefits for economies because it will increase the import and exports from one country to other country. for instance last year I seen a carrybag in advertisement which it manufactured in usa but it is availble in india DUE TO the globalization. so whatever the goods it is due to globalization we can anywhere what we want from the everywhere in the world Thirdly globalization has also have some demerits one of those is no demand for the local goods because many of the are attracting towards the foregin goods instead of local goods which it impact to shutdown the business of local goods Finally I conclude with globalization has more benefits than the drawbacks.
Globalization has benefit for economies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its drawbacks should not
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
gloBALIzATION
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of life taste and preferences of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per my view I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalisation' and 'globalization') within a single text.
globalisation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, every
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preference and choice about their products.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
foregin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and few like domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
decade ago almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and satisfied with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to increasing trend and technology most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
presently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalisation' and 'globalization') within a single text.
globalisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any product from any country
Possible spelling mistake found.
thety
want with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology.

Secondly
, globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for economies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will increase the import and exports from one country to other country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance last year I
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "saw"?
seen
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrybag
in advertisement which it manufactured in usa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
availble
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO the globalization.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
whatever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to globalization we can anywhere what we want from the everywhere in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world


Thirdly
globalization has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits one of those is no demand for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
attracting towards the
Possible spelling mistake found.
foregin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which it
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
Did you mean "to shut down"?
to shutdown
the business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods


Finally
I conclude with globalization has more benefits than the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides should not be ignored.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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