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Globalization a challenge to the concept of nation-state. Write your opinion on it.

Globalization a challenge to the concept of nation-state. Write your opinion on it. dpOEP
Globalization is nothing but reducing barriers between the nation states for international commerce and communication. It can be sometimes seen as potential threat to nation states as the concept of nation state itself is sovereign government. Transportation became easy between the continents but it did not changed the sovereignty of individual nations. Instead, globalization changed the way nations deal with others. So in my opinion globalization is not a challenge for the concept of nation-state. However it favors westernization. So the countries that are dealing with America and Europe are at disadvantage. MNCs forces nation states to determine how much international influence they allow in their economies. It also creates a sense of interdependence among the nations. It could create an imbalance of power among different nations.
Globalization is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
reducing barriers between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
for international commerce and communication. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as potential threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
as the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
itself is sovereign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Transportation became easy between the continents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it did not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "change"?
changed
the sovereignty of individual
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nations
.
Instead
, globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
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nations
deal with others.
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So
in my opinion globalization is not a challenge for the concept of nation-state.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it favors
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some nouns that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernization".
westernization
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the countries that are dealing with America and Europe are at disadvantage.
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNCs
forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
to determine how much international influence they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
in their economies. It
also
creates a sense of interdependence among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. It could create an imbalance of power among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.

IELTS essay Globalization a challenge to the concept of nation-state. Write your opinion on it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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