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Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion v.1

Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. 1
The world is now more global than before as there is increased trade and culture exchange. This essay will outline the advantages and drawbacks of this development, and In (remove the capital letter) my opinion, the benefits are more important. On the one hand, it is often thought by some that allowing nations to interact with one another brings many disadvantages. Firstly, immigrants find it difficult to adapt to their new environment. Many people who are working or studying in other countries find it challenging to interact with locals because of the language barrier and feel isolated. Moreover, the weather is another challenge. Secondly, international students face racism. For example, a recent survey by California University found that over 30% of students from other countries are bullied daily because of their colour. On the other hand, others believe that there are numerous benefits for countries becoming global, and I agree. First of these is the increase in revenue. As companies establish branches in many different parts of the world, supplying goods and services, they create numerous job opportunities. This reduces the unemployment rate and increases the living standards of people all over the world. The growing trade relations between countries also help to establish peace in the world. In addition to this, the increased interaction among people of diverse cultures has made them more tolerant of differences. To conclude, I believe that globalization is beneficial because the increasing interaction among various countries allows for economic growth and closer relationships despite the challenges of cultural differences and climate conditions. Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more global than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
as there
is increased
trade and culture exchange. This essay will outline the advantages and drawbacks of this development, and In (remove the capital letter) my opinion, the benefits are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that allowing nations to interact with one another brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages.
Firstly
, immigrants find it difficult to adapt to their new environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are working or studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
find it challenging
Did you mean "interacting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to interact
with locals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the language barrier and feel isolated.
Moreover
, the weather is another challenge.
Secondly
, international students face racism.
For example
, a recent survey by California University found that over 30% of students from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are bullied
daily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that there are numerous benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
becoming global, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
First
of these is the increase in revenue. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
establish branches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, supplying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, they create numerous job opportunities. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the unemployment rate and increases the living standards of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. The growing trade relations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to establish peace in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
In addition
to this, the increased interaction among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of diverse cultures has made them more tolerant of differences.

To conclude
, I believe that globalization is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the increasing interaction among various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for economic growth and closer relationships despite the challenges of cultural differences and climate conditions.

Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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