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Global interdepence and its affects on the economy

Global interdepence and its affects on the economy PR2Aj
Recently, The world has been more globalized than ever, which has been significantly beneficial for the global economy. However, some people still argue that globalization is a negative development, and that the world was better off when countries didn’t interdepend on each other. So, was globalization a beneficial thing? Or was the world better off when economical independence was more common? Primarily, In the past few decades there was a drastic increment in the overall economy of the world, which was due to globalization. Globalization has proved that economical interdependence is the way to go. Since in the past when everyone depended solely on themselves. And Each country was heavily dependent on the domestic goods only, the global economy was lower and there were less job opportunities. which was severely inconvenient for the people and for the economy. Because less goods meant lower economy, which also meant no jobs. That’s why in the past it was more difficult for individuals to find job opportunities because there weren’t that many jobs to begin with. But this changed as time went by. Nowadays, cultures from all around the world are spread more frequently which is a consequence of globalization. And that’s because when there is an interdependence between two nations they will start sharing goods and services with each other to fulfil their missing needs, which strongly aids the spread of the cultures. Also, the spread of information is another result of globalization, and both cultures and information get expanded by the same way, which is by interdependence. In conclusion, I strongly believe that globalization is a positive thing since it evolved the world drastically. however, there were many cons that were brought forth due to globalization, but the benefits still outweigh the negatives, which only proves that globalization was one of the most beneficial practices that were introduced to our world.
Recently, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has been more globalized than ever, which has been
significantly
beneficial for the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
argue that globalization is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, and that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
was better off when countries didn’t
Possible spelling mistake found.
interdepend
on each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, was globalization a beneficial thing? Or was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
better off when
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
independence was more common?

Primarily
, In the past few decades there was a drastic increment in the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which was due to globalization. Globalization has proved that economical interdependence is the way to go. Since in the past when everyone depended
solely
on themselves. And Each country was
heavily
dependent on the domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
was lower and there were less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
was
severely
inconvenient for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun goods is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
meant lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, which
also
meant no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. That’s why in the past it was more difficult for individuals to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there weren’t that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as time went by.

Nowadays, cultures from all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are spread
more
frequently
which is a consequence of globalization. And that’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when there is an interdependence between two nations they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services with each other to fulfil their missing needs, which
strongly
aids the spread of the cultures.
Also
, the spread of information is another result of globalization, and both cultures and information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
expanded by the same way, which is by interdependence.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that globalization is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing since it evolved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
drastically
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons that
were brought
forth due to globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits
still
outweigh the negatives, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
proves that globalization was one of the most beneficial practices that
were introduced
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Global interdepence and its affects on the economy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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