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Ex. 4. Children and games

Ex. 4. Children and games m3kNd
Parents have diverse opinions about their children's social skills development, because they educate their families based on what they know or live. Adults are a guide of how to educate children, but this guide is a series of personal beliefs and experiences. Children are formed by parents perspectives, this means we tend to educate people based on what we learned from life, but sometimes we overprotect our children because we want they not to suffer as us although we always forget that difficulties help us improve and we learn from our mistakes. In addition, I think people must analyze both options, personally, I am not agree in let people get a prize even when they do not win, an individual grows older and we need to understand that life is not easy, not everyone wins and not everyone loses, even if it is a “game”, children develop a perspective that can complicate their social life. These complications damage the social life of children who are used to receiving something even if they have not made an effort. On the other hand, we must understand that these teachings guide children on their way to becoming adults who are better human beings. For example, I grew up with the teaching that not all of us win, my brother played soccer and I saw him win and lose games, but the most important thing is that I saw him work hard to win a game, a tournament, medals and trophies.
Parents have diverse opinions about their children's social
skills
development,
because
they educate their families based on what they know or
live
. Adults are a guide of how to educate
children
,
but
this guide is a series of personal beliefs and experiences.

Children
are formed
by parents perspectives, this means we tend to educate
people
based on what we learned from life,
but
sometimes
we overprotect our
children
because
we want they not to suffer as us although we always forget that difficulties
help
us
improve and
we learn from our mistakes.
In addition
, I
think
people
must
analyze both options,
personally
, I am not
agree
in
let
people
get
a prize even when they do not
win
, an individual grows
older and
we need to understand that life is not easy, not everyone wins and not everyone loses, even if it is a “game”,
children
develop a perspective that can complicate their social life.

These complications damage the social life of
children
who are
used
to receiving something even if they have not made an effort.
On the other hand
, we
must
understand that these teachings guide
children
on their way to becoming adults who are better human beings.
For example
, I grew up with the teaching that not all of us
win
, my brother played soccer and I
saw
him
win
and lose games,
but
the most
important
thing is that I
saw
him work
hard
to
win
a game, a tournament, medals and trophies.
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IELTS essay Ex. 4. Children and games

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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