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Global humanity’s problems

Global humanity’s problems o8yrD
First of all, the humanity has a lot of extremely important problems with all spheres of humanity’s life on the planet. Our planet is in trouble. Let’s look what the problems has the planet today. There are a lot of key problems with: 1. Population. We have a big problem with population, because more developed countries have a bigger population. Also, these countries need a lot of builds and skyscrapers. In addition, people's life expectancy (pl) has increased because we have the improvement of life standards. 2. Ecological problems. Now, we have a serious violation of nature’s balance and the weather. It’s a such big problem (it’s such a). The humanity is the biggest cause of natural pollution. We exhaust the soils, to pollute the planet’s water and air. The biggest problems are our agricultural production and atomic v
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the humanity has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with all spheres of humanity’s life on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is in trouble.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s look what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with:

1. Population. We have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have a bigger population.
Also
, these countries need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
builds and skyscrapers.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life expectancy (pl) has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have the improvement of life standards.

2. Ecological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we have a serious violation of nature’s balance and the weather. It’s a such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
(it’s such a). The humanity is the biggest cause of natural pollution. We exhaust the soils, to pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet’s
water and air. The biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are our agricultural production and atomic
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
v
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IELTS essay Global humanity’s problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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