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Global environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nations not of poorer nations. Do you agree with this opinion. v.1

Global environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nations not of poorer nations. Do you agree with this opinion. v. 1
Depletion of the environment has become a grave issue for the whole world. Many people think that only rich countries should take up the responsibility to work for conserving the habitat. However, I do not agree with this approach and find it as an absurd solution. To commence with, richer countries can take up this responsibility because they have the resources. Firstly, developed countries has much more knowledge because they have multiple scientists and researchers working in the newer areas of study. Thus, there are greater chances for them to find substitutes of existing resources to produce energy. Secondly, the developed countries have the financial resources to fund the establishments of projects for energy production with lesser harm to the environment. For example, the USA has spent a great deal of money on the projects to extract solar and nuclear energy. Such projects have reduced their dependency on coal for power. On the other hand, the underdeveloped nations do not have enough resources. They want their manufacturing industry to bloom and hence, they concentrate only on the their economy without any consideration of environmental damage. But, this way they will end up nullifying all the efforts put by the richer countries to conserve the habitat. Therefore, it is necessary for them to take some steps as well. For instance, they can create an awareness about the importance of preservation of the surroundings, so that their citizens can contribute as well. India has started giving subsidy on the installation of solar panels for meeting the electricity needs. To conclude, in my opinion, the protection of the environment is the dual responsibility of both richer and poorer countries. Even if the poorer nations might not be able to contribute financially like richer ones, but they can spread awareness among its citizens to take some small steps.
Depletion of the environment has become a grave issue for the whole world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should take up the responsibility to work for conserving the habitat.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this approach and find it as an absurd solution.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can take up this responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the resources.
Firstly
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has much more knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have multiple scientists and researchers working in the newer areas of study.
Thus
, there are greater chances for them to find substitutes of existing resources to produce energy.
Secondly
, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the financial resources to fund the establishments of projects for energy production with lesser harm to the environment.
For example
, the USA has spent a great deal of money on the projects to extract solar and nuclear energy. Such projects have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their dependency on coal for power.

On the other hand
, the underdeveloped nations do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources. They want their manufacturing industry to bloom and
hence
, they concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their economy" or "the economy"?
the their economy
without any consideration of environmental damage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this way they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up nullifying all the efforts put by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to conserve the habitat.
Therefore
, it is necessary for them to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps
as well
.
For instance
, they can create an awareness about the importance of preservation of the surroundings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their citizens can contribute
as well
. India has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving subsidy on the installation of solar panels for meeting the electricity needs.

To conclude
, in my opinion, the protection of the environment is the dual responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
and poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Even if the poorer nations might not be able to contribute
financially
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can spread awareness among its citizens to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Global environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nations not of poorer nations. Do you agree with this opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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