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Giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others think there are more alternative ways to do it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others think there are more alternative ways to do it. VEeDJ
In this day and age, delinquency has become more and more serious in many parts of the world. It is often argued that higher imprisonment is the most feasible solution to prevent this trend, whereas others advocate different strategies should be utilised. There is a strong case to be made for both sides of the debate. On the one hand, it is indisputable that prolonging prison time is the most prevalent method to alleviate the crime rate. To be more specific, a long-term prison sentence is more likely to help those who committed crimes to have more time in a bid to be aware of the importance of freedom and relinquish their criminal behaviours. This method is, so the argument goes, attributed to possibly prohibiting those who have an intention to commit offences once. Thanks to this, society can be protected from illegal and hazardous activities, such as assault, murder and terrorism. On the other hand, numerous people suggest that we ought to consider other short-term measures rather than the longer imprisonment. In fact, the causes of the crime rate increase stem from poverty and unemployment, which have not been fully resolved. Thus, the authority should deploy a few policies in order to nudge local businesses and foreign companies to invest money along with creating more occupations for unemployed people. As a result, when the need for labour is boosted, the proportion of people out of work falls and so does the crime rate. To look at a supporting example, one needs to look no further than delinquency in Japan, which was recorded at about 0, 5 from 2000 to 2009. However, when the government loosened regulations for foreign investors and loaned domestic corporations at low interest rates in 2012, this crime rate was only around 0. 3. In conclusion, although a longer imprisonment will help to warn offenders and a few individuals who intend to violate, I hold belief that local governments need to focus more on appealing foreign investors instead of implementing the former.
In this day and age, delinquency has become more and more serious in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that higher imprisonment is the most feasible solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this trend, whereas others advocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
. There is a strong case to
be made
for both sides of the debate.

On the one hand, it is indisputable that prolonging prison time is the most prevalent method to alleviate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. To be more specific, a long-term prison sentence is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to have more time in a bid to be aware of the importance of freedom and relinquish their criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. This method is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the argument goes, attributed to
possibly
prohibiting those who have an intention to commit
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
once. Thanks to this, society can
be protected
from illegal and hazardous activities, such as assault, murder and terrorism.

On the other hand
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that we ought to consider other short-term measures
rather
than the longer imprisonment. In fact, the causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
increase stem from poverty and unemployment, which have not been
fully
resolved.
Thus
, the authority should deploy a few policies in order to nudge local businesses and foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to invest money along with creating more occupations for unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, when the need for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is boosted
, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
out of work falls and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. To look at a supporting example, one needs to look no
further
than delinquency in Japan, which
was recorded
at about 0, 5 from 2000 to 2009.
However
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
loosened regulations for foreign investors and loaned domestic corporations at low interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in 2012, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 0. 3.

In conclusion
, although a longer imprisonment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to warn offenders and a few individuals who intend to violate, I hold belief that local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to focus more on appealing foreign investors
instead
of implementing the former.
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IELTS essay Giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others think there are more alternative ways to do it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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