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Discuss both view and opinion

Discuss both view and opinion rKPDL
It is commonly believed that, teaching children are father’s and mother’s duties, and they are responsible for ready them as an acceptable member in community, while others claim that school is an area for learning this. Although both groups ideas are worthwhile, I agree with second group. Even so in this essay both views would be discussed. On the one hand, some people hold the view that parents can have a better role in training and teaching than teachers. they claim that, teaching is not sophisticated and everybody can do it. Besides, the quality of educators and education have decreased during last 10 years and learners can’t acquire good skills for future. In addition, there are a lot of pupils in school, that would have unacceptable behaviour and may have awful consequence on other toddlers and teenagers future. for example, researches reveal that most of the alcohlic addicts, try it first in school and continued it in next years. On the other hand, second group asserted that, School is the best place for children, that can be trained appropriately for entering to society. They can learn very well by teachers, who are well informed and highly experienced in getting on well and transfer the knowledge tovstudents. Each teacher has specific knowledge and it helps pupil to learn better and get better mark, so they will have more chance to get better major and career and it led to be useful member in public. Although some teenagers are in wrong way and use alcohle in schools, they can be saved by others, so his or her future will be corrected and will have good position in society. Pupil can learn a lot positive traits from each other in school. I agree with this view, because it has better result on future of children and they will have positive and effective role in public. To conclude, although views are different about learning children for better position by parents or schools, I believe that schools are better option, because teachers are specialist in education. Moreover pupils can share their possitve traits and change to better character for future.
It is
commonly
believed that, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are father’s and mother’s duties, and they are responsible for ready them as an acceptable member in community, while others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is an area for learning this. Although both groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are worthwhile, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with second group. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in this essay both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
would
be discussed
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that parents can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
role in training and teaching than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
claim that, teaching is not sophisticated and everybody can do it.
Besides
, the quality of educators and education have decreased during last 10 years and learners can’t acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, that would have unacceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and may have awful consequence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
toddlers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, researches reveal that most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
alcohlic
addicts, try it
first
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and continued it in
next
years.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, second group asserted that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is the best place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, that can
be trained
appropriately
for entering to society. They can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
and
highly
experienced in getting on well and transfer the knowledge
Possible spelling mistake found.
tovstudents
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has specific knowledge and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
mark,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will have more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
major and career and it led to be useful member
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
public
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
alcohle
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, they can
be saved
by others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will
be corrected
and will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pupil
can learn a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traits from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
result on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and effective role in public.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
about learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Did you mean "to"?
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position by parents or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are specialist in education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
can share their
Possible spelling mistake found.
possitve
traits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
character for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Discuss both view and opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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