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Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at an early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable.

Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at an early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable. 7JgXn
Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at an early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in my favour. On the first hand, it's true that kids can obtain more knowledge and practical skills when they start working early as the result of their brains are still in the development process. Therefore, kids at this age are usually studious and hyperactive, they want to learn and know more about the world, society, the adults' actions, etc. For instance, a child, who is a singer, can earn several benefits like learning the performing skills when they perform with famous artists. In this case, working at a young age is useful for kids. I will talk about some disadvantages of this topic in the next paragraph. On the other hand, neglecting studying is not a great thing to do. We, especially young kids, need to have enough knowledge because it will be really helpful in our future for our careers. The more knowledge we have, the better job we will have. Let’s say at school, we have to present slideshows in lots of subjects or be creative with our posters, all of those things will give us presenting skills, painting ability, etc. These are some benefits for our future career by studying. In my opinion, I think we should not let our kids get a job at an early age because it will be the barrier for their future. That's except for some jobs that require you to have outstanding skills like being a member of an orchestra, etc. In conclusion, kids need to go to school and shouldn't take jobs when they’re young.
Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to gain more practical experience at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, others believe that this is
absolutely
unacceptable. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.

On the
first
hand, it's true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can obtain more knowledge and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working early as the result of their brains are
still
in the development process.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are
usually
studious and hyperactive, they want to learn and know more about the world, society, the adults' actions, etc.
For instance
, a child, who is a singer, can earn several benefits like learning the performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when they perform with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
artists.
In this case
, working at a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. I will talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of this topic in the
next
paragraph.

On the other hand
, neglecting studying is not a great thing to do. We,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, need to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be
really
helpful in our future for our careers. The more knowledge we have, the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
we will have.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s say at school, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
present slideshows in lots of subjects or be creative with our posters, all of those things will give us presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, painting ability, etc. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for our future career by studying.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be the barrier for their future. That's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that require you to have outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like being a member of an orchestra, etc.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
need to go to school and shouldn't take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
when they’re young.
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IELTS essay Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at an early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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