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General Health Level of people is decreasing across the globe. what are some reasons and what are some solutions?

General Health Level of people is decreasing across the globe. what are some reasons and what are some solutions? pa2J2
The amount of mental and physical health is dropping all over the world. A variety of diseases have been suffered by a number of people. I am going to discuss some reasons for this in the next paragraph along with their solutions. First and Foremost reason is having junk food excessively for poor health of individuals. Nowadays people are mostly rely on junk food rather than having a food with adequate nutritions, which leads to different types of sicknesses. althoutgh, junk food fills your stomach, it does not provide essential minerals to the body. Another reason is sedentary lifestyle which has became most common habit of many personas in contemporary world. Nowadays people spend plethora amount of time in sitting at one place without much physical activity. his stationary way of life seeds problem of overweight and also people could become clinically obese. Taking into account solution of eating junk food, though people like to eat junk food, they can change their diet to healthy meals. Everybody has to go on strict and nutritious diet which could cure many health issues suffered by individuals. Now, Considering solutions of sedentary lifestyle, the daily routine of this lifestyle could be changed by people by doing different exercises along with yoga, which engances physical and mental well-being. other productive activities can be adopt by people to avoid motionless behaviour.
The amount of mental and physical health is dropping all over the world. A variety of diseases have
been suffered
by a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

I am going to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this in the
next
paragraph along with their solutions.

First
and Foremost reason is having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
excessively
for poor health of individuals. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
mostly


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with adequate
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of sicknesses.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
althoutgh
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
fills your

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stomach
, it does not provide essential minerals to the body.

Another reason is sedentary lifestyle which has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
most common habit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
personas in contemporary world.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend plethora amount of time in sitting at one place without much physical activity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
his
stationary

way of life seeds problem of overweight and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could become
clinically
obese.

Taking into account solution of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their diet to healthy meals.

Everybody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go on strict and nutritious diet which could cure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues suffered by individuals.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, Considering solutions of sedentary lifestyle, the daily routine of this lifestyle could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
exercises along with yoga, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
engances
physical and mental well-being.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
productive activities

can be
Consider using the past participle "adopted"?
adopt
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid motionless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
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IELTS essay General Health Level of people is decreasing across the globe. what are some reasons and what are some solutions?

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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