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do you think it should be responsibility of government to take care of the health and education of the people or is it individuals responsibility

do you think it should be responsibility of government to take care of the health and education of the people or is it individuals responsibility aQRQo
Health and education sector are fundamental pillars of any nation. Taking care of health and education of individuals is responsibility of government. I firmly believe with the laid statement and the reason for my inclination are articulated in trail paragraph. There are plethora reasons which supports my ideology but first and the formost reason is tax. people pay tax so it is governments responsibility to provide them better education and good health care centers. to cite and example, most of Indian citizen thought government should allot them fund for better health and education. however, some school of thought believe it is individuals responsibility. due to overpopulation and overpollution ration of deases releted to health incerase and because of overpopulation government can not provide education to each and every person. To quote an example, China and India are densly populated nation, so it is difficult for government to solve all citizens problems. agglomeration all the points elaborated above it can be conclude that, government is "of the people, for the people, by the people", so higher authority should take responsibility to solve problems releted to citizens and individuals have to also supports government.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector are fundamental pillars of any nation. Taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of individuals is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. I
firmly
believe with the laid statement and the reason for my inclination
are articulated
in trail paragraph. There are plethora reasons which supports my ideology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
first
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
reason is tax.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
pay tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to provide them better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care centers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
cite and example, most of Indian citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allot them fund for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe it is individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to overpopulation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
overpollution
ration of
Possible spelling mistake found.
deases
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "relet", the past tense form of the verb 'relet'?
releted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake found.
incerase
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can not provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to each and every person. To quote an example, China and India are
Possible spelling mistake found.
densly
populated nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to solve all citizens problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
agglomeration
all the points elaborated above it can be
Consider using the past participle "concluded"?
conclude
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
higher authority should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to solve problems
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "relet", the past tense form of the verb 'relet'?
releted
to citizens and individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
also
supports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
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IELTS essay do you think it should be responsibility of government to take care of the health and education of the people or is it individuals responsibility

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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