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gender inquality is arguably one of the greatest barriers to human development. What problems does it cause? How can we promote gender equality?

gender inquality is arguably one of the greatest barriers to human development. What problems does it cause? How can we promote gender equality? 525dD
From our ancestors to modern life, most people still remain the thinking of boys or girls are better than each other. That lead to challenge for develop of human and a large number of problems go into our society. Becuase of that, the demand for improve gender equality is take shape in our community at present and the future. Clearly, inbalance gender become one of the biggest problems in many countries. Because there are not equal treatment between men and woman, huge parents want their child that is born being a boy or a girl. Consenquently, in some circumtances, the babies are abandon just because they are not as their family expected. Moreover, the gender which fewer do not have their voice in the commuinity or in area such as economics, cultures, politics and they also being disrepected from people. For example, in some countries, specially Asian where has men that have more responsibility and power than women. Many researchs show that the percentage of boy's quantitys are from twice to three times as many as that of girls. This make man can not have wife and kidnapping women sharply increases. To promore gender equality, the best way we can do is education. The government should encourage teaching about inequality gender anf its negative effects in shool or in public for everyone can see to raise their knowledge. Besides, it will very difficul, ask for lots of effort and waste time to change human's mind for reason they are too familiar with these thought for thousand years. But if only a particular person thinks different, people will have comprehensive development. As a results, human can creat a society that a person does not be treat unfair because of his or her sex. In conclusion, these days with the hight technology and convinient life, unfortunately, there have been inquality gender among us. It comes up with significant distance between male and female. So people need to be educated when they was a child to improve their standar about the world which they live.
From our ancestors to modern life, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
remain the thinking of boys or girls are better than each other. That lead to challenge for develop of human and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
problems go into our society.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Becuase
of that, the demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
gender equality is take shape in our community at present and the future.

Clearly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inbalance
gender become one of the biggest problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are not equal treatment between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and woman, huge parents want their child that
is born
being a boy or a girl.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consenquently
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
circumtances
, the babies are abandon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not as their family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
Moreover
, the gender which fewer do not have their voice in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
commuinity
or in area such as economics, cultures,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
politics and
they
also
being
Possible spelling mistake found.
disrepected
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
specially
Asian where has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
that have more responsibility and power than women.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the percentage of boy's
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "quantities", the plural form of the noun 'quantity'?
quantitys
are from twice to three times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as that of girls. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can not have wife and kidnapping women
sharply
increases.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
promore
gender equality, the best way we can do is education. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage teaching about inequality gender
Possible spelling mistake found.
anf its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
or in public for everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
to raise their knowledge.
Besides
, it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficul
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
lots of effort and waste time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
human's mind for reason they are too familiar with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a particular person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have comprehensive development. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
, human can
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
a society that a person does not be
Consider using a past participle here: "treated".
treat
unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
sex.

In conclusion
, these days with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
technology and
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
life, unfortunately, there have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
inquality
gender among us. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up with significant distance between male and female.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
be educated
when they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
a child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
standar
about the world which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay gender inquality is arguably one of the greatest barriers to human development. What problems does it cause? How can we promote gender equality?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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