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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples

Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples O3n7
It is very important that some people should have there own ideas as it is vital for there development in there future life so for this reason it is my concern to write this essay so that it can be used to help those who are in need of help I can share a number of ideas which can be used by them to improve there current life as well as there future life so initially I will like to discuss some of my problems that I face back in my life when I was a teenager. Well I must say I was not good in my studies even not in any activity.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as it is vital for there development in there future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for this reason
it is my concern to write this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who are in need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
I can share a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as there future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
initially
I
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my problems that I face back in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
. Well I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say I was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in my studies even not in any activity.

IELTS essay Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples