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People try new dangerous sports such as sky diving or rock climbing. Should such sports be banned ?

People try new dangerous sports such as sky diving or rock climbing. Should such sports be banned? LQ5r
Definition of sport is changed nowadays by people as they fond of extreme risky sport activities in sky and mountains. I never deninded if such sports can perform with safety measurement and expert guidance by their on risk and courage to it. Era has been changed since last decand for express of interest by people from indoor games to dangerous sports. Younger preferred activities like sky diving, paraglyding, mountain climbing and water sports, they want to challenge themeself and feel thrill behind such threatful task. Joy of such activity can be enhanced by minimizing risk factor of it by taking guidance or coaching furthermore maintain safety precorson under instruction by expertise likewise people can performed taks on own self-confidence. On flipside, we cannot dined our research data sawn death rate of human in such life thetaring task, even with that ration was higher of youngster in comparison of other age people. A government can look into it and provide guidelines to reduce accidents and they can banned it for few time interval if there is any weather issues. To put it in a nut shell, people can try all extremely scary and threatful sport activities with their own confidence and fully safety measurement with observation of trainer without fail to following government guidelines, however it can be stop down in emergency condition of weather.
Definition of
sport
is
changed
nowadays by
people
as they fond of extreme risky
sport
activities
in sky and mountains. I never
deninded
if such
sports
can perform with safety measurement and expert guidance by their on
risk
and courage to it.

Era has been
changed
since last
decand
for express of
interest by
people
from indoor games to
dangerous
sports
. Younger preferred
activities
like
sky diving
,
paraglyding
, mountain climbing and water
sports
, they want to challenge
themeself
and feel thrill behind such
threatful
task. Joy of such
activity
can
be enhanced
by minimizing
risk
factor of it by taking guidance or coaching
furthermore
maintain safety
precorson
under instruction by expertise
likewise
people
can performed
taks
on
own
self-confidence.

On
flipside
, we cannot
dined
our research data sawn death rate of human in such life
thetaring
task, even with that ration was higher of youngster
in comparison
of other age
people
. A
government
can look into it and provide guidelines to
reduce
accidents and
they can
banned
it for few time interval if there is any weather issues.

To put it in a nut shell,
people
can try all
extremely scary
and
threatful
sport
activities
with their
own
confidence and
fully
safety measurement with observation of trainer without fail to following
government
guidelines,
however
it can be
stop
down in emergency condition of weather.
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IELTS essay People try new dangerous sports such as sky diving or rock climbing. Should such sports be banned?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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