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Computers have become an integral part of our lives and our homes This has given children an easy access to video games and a lot of them play them all the time Discuss Advantages disadvantages of playing video games and minimizing the bad effects

Computers have become an integral part of our lives and our homes This has given children an easy access to video games and a lot of them play them all the time Discuss Advantages disadvantages of playing video games and minimizing the bad effects LrEYr
There is no rose without a thorn. Nowadays, computers perform a prominent role through individual lives. Although computer utilization and its benefits have been proved by scholars, disadvantages of computers usage as a game device for long hours per day are deniable. Computers pros and cons have been entirely argued amid parents and school administrators. I will consider two divers perspectives regarding its benefits and disadvantages through this essay. In one hand, computer as one of the most considerable invention in contemporary era have constantly admired by scientists, inventors and scholars; furthermore, its effects on modern society have been consistently convinced. Video games not only have been concealing youngsters leisure time positively, but have profoundly impressed their creativity, comprehension and learning velocity. For instance, PES Konami game as the most popular soccer game amongst youths in order to use multiple bottom have prompted their reaction speed on divers circumstances. Although teenagers’ creativity and activity through their free time have been deeply influencing by computer and video game positively, teenagers would rather to expend lots of time to play game, rather than focusing on their homework and learning procedure. Thus, uncontrolled youngsters prefer to insist on playing video games instead of continue their education process at home. Recent researches by University of Pennsylvania scholars have represented that remarkable amount of youth have been spending 7 hours a day to play video games which have seriously concerned parents and school teachers. In conclusion, computer and video games and its advantages such as increasing pupils’ creativity, imaginary power and their talents have been always considered; however, spending lots of time by uncontrolled youngsters would blemished their education process consequently.
There is no rose without a thorn. Nowadays, computers perform a prominent role through individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although computer utilization and its benefits have
been proved
by scholars, disadvantages of computers usage as a game device for long hours per day are deniable. Computers pros and cons have been
entirely
argued amid parents and school administrators. I will consider two divers perspectives regarding its benefits and disadvantages through this essay. In one hand, computer as one of the most considerable
Please check whether a plural form of 'invention' should be used.
invention
in contemporary era have
constantly
admired by scientists, inventors and scholars;
furthermore
, its effects on modern society have been
consistently
convinced.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have been concealing youngsters leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
positively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
profoundly
impressed their creativity, comprehension and learning velocity.
For instance
, PES
Possible spelling mistake found.
Konami
game as the most popular soccer game amongst youths in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
multiple bottom have prompted their reaction speed on divers circumstances. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ creativity and activity through their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
have been
deeply
influencing by computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
positively
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would
rather
to expend lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play game,
rather
than focusing on their homework and learning procedure.
Thus
, uncontrolled youngsters prefer to insist on playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
instead
of continue their education process at home. Recent researches by University of Pennsylvania scholars have represented that remarkable amount of youth have been spending 7 hours a day to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which have
seriously
concerned parents and school teachers.
In conclusion
, computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and its advantages such as increasing pupils’ creativity, imaginary power and their talents
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
have been always
considered;
however
, spending lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by uncontrolled youngsters would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "blemish"
blemished
their education process
consequently
.

IELTS essay Computers have become an integral part of our lives and our homes This has given children an easy access to video games and a lot of them play them all the time Discuss Advantages disadvantages of playing video games and minimizing the bad effects

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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