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Funding arts from government .do u agree ?

Funding arts from government. do u agree? BxJj
In this modern era, living a normal life for an artist, has become impossible due the low salaries. Therefore in order to save arts governmnents implement programs to fund their work. In this essay we will explain why it is important to help and creat such governmental programs to save arts. As we know, artists who works in music, painting. . and who are not famous are not well paid and suffering from this economique situation. In addition, a study from the university of london showed that 60% from artists have done a lot of new works but didnt get the opportunity to perform their composers or paintings due to the decreasing number of events. Therefore, the governments and specifically the departement of arts proposed a new strategy to fund and help artist to continue working to save and not demolish this heritage. For instance in england they pay 2000 pounds and give the opportunity to all artists to perform in the national museum to help them. Moreover, arts is essential for living! Without arts we cant live. Hence, it is obligatory to fund unfamous artists by creating or giving them the chance to performe. Arts is a way to help the new generation to stress free, to see new orizons, to relax, and to dream big and improve their imagination by just watching a paintbu can trip into onether worldand by listening to a melody u can travel in your imaginationand stress free. To sum up, and as they said arts is life. And by funding artists, we are saving life. So why dont we proceed such strategies if we can improve our mental health by music and treat many people.
In this modern era, living a normal life for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, has become impossible due the low salaries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmnents
implement programs to fund their work. In this essay we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
such governmental programs to save arts.

As we know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'artists' should be used.
works
in music, painting.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
who are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
are not well paid and suffering from this
Possible spelling mistake found.
economique
situation.
In addition
, a study from the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of london
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 60% from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found
didnt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to perform their composers or paintings due to the decreasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
specifically
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
departement
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
proposed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
strategy to fund and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
to continue working to save and not demolish this heritage.
For instance
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
england
they pay
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
2000 pounds
and give the opportunity to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to perform in the national museum to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is essential for living! Without
The comma is probably missing here: "arts, we".
arts we
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Hence
, it is obligatory to fund
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfamous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
by creating or giving them the chance to
Possible spelling mistake found.
performe
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
orizons
, to relax, and to dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching a
Possible spelling mistake found.
paintbu
can trip into
Possible spelling mistake found.
onether
Possible spelling mistake found.
worldand
by listening to a melody u can travel in your
Possible spelling mistake found.
imaginationand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free.

To sum up, and as they said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is life. And by funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, we are saving life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
why
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
we proceed such strategies if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our mental health by music and treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Funding arts from government. do u agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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