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Artists are not well paid . Government should fund artists. Do you agree?

Artists are not well paid. Government should fund artists. Do you agree? kBY8
In this modern era, living a normal life for an artist, has become impossible due the low salaries. Therefore, in order to save arts governmnents implement programs to fund their works. In this essay we will discuss why it is important to help and creat such governmental programs to fund artists in order to save arts. As we know, unfamous artists who works in the domain of music, painting are not well paid and suffering from this economic situation. In addition, a study from the university of london showed that 60% from artists have done a lot of new works but didnt get the opportunity to perform their composers or paintings due to the decreasing number of events. Therefore, the governments and specifically the departement of arts, proposed a new strategy to fund and help artist to continue working to save and not demolish this heritage by doing events, exhibitions. . For instance, in england they pay 2000 pounds and give the opportunity to all artists to perform in the national museum to help them. Moreover, arts is essential for living! Without arts we can not live. Hence, it is obligatory to fund artists by creating or giving them the chance to find a work. Arts is a way to help the new generation to stress free, to aim new orizons, to relax, and to dream bigger, and improve their imagination. For example, contemplating a portrait can lead us to a trip into another world. Listening to a melody, can take us into a new imagination and stress free. To sum up, and as they said arts is life. And by funding artists, we are saving life. So why dont we proceed such strategies if we can improve our mental health by music and treat many people.
In this modern era, living a normal life for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, has become impossible due the low salaries.
Therefore
, in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmnents
implement programs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
their works. In this essay we will discuss why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
such governmental programs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in order to save arts.

As we know,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfamous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'artists' should be used.
works
in the domain of music, painting are not well paid and suffering from this economic situation.

In addition
, a study from the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of london
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 60% from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found
didnt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to perform their composers or paintings due to the decreasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
specifically
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
departement
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, proposed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
strategy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
to continue working to save and not demolish this heritage by doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, exhibitions.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
england
they pay
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
2000 pounds
and give the opportunity to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to perform in the national museum to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is essential for living! Without
The comma is probably missing here: "arts, we".
arts we
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Hence
, it is obligatory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
by creating or giving them the chance to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free, to aim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
orizons
, to relax, and to dream bigger, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination.
For example
, contemplating a portrait can lead us to a trip into another world. Listening to a melody, can take us into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
imagination and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free.

To sum up, and as they said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is life. And by funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, we are saving life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
why
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
we proceed such strategies if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our mental health by music and treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Artists are not well paid. Government should fund artists. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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