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Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What causes of the increased demand, and what measures can governments and individuals take to respond to thi v.1

Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What causes of the increased demand, and what measures can governments and individuals take to respond to thi v. 1
Nowadays, many teenagers expect to get a year for travelling before working or studying at a university. The reason for their demands is to make them see a wider range of opportunities and choices and I also agree with them. On the one hand, teens will gain a lot of knowledge by travelling. The different cultures of many countries can be seen if they have enough time for vacations. Moreover, taking a trip can reduce our stress and feel energized for the next step. Meanwhile, students can visit to their native town and reunite with their family. Beside travelling, young learners can also have a chance to prepare well for further education in a year. Likewise, adults can save money by doing a part-time job which might be helpful in their professional work. For instance, I volunteered about a year as a radiographer in one of the government hospitals before I begin work. On the other hand, taking a year for the holiday is wasting our precious time. Therefore, I also agree that there will be problems if young people are taking a year-off. For example, visiting to many places within a year can be expensive and it will be a burden for your family to pay for your expenditure. Then, you will lack motivation about your future while you are only focusing on travelling. Next, you will face difficulties to memorize your previous study after taking a long trip. Overall, I strongly agree that youths should have a holiday before learning at college or starting their work. However, a year off is to
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
working or studying at a university. The reason for their demands is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a wider range of opportunities and choices and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

On the one hand, teens will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for vacations.
Moreover
, taking a trip can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and feel energized for the
next
step. Meanwhile, students can visit to their native town and reunite with their family. Beside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, young learners can
also
have a chance to prepare well for
further
education in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Likewise
, adults can save money by doing a part-time job which might be helpful in their professional work.
For instance
, I volunteered about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as a radiographer in one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
work.

On the other hand
, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for the holiday is wasting our precious time.
Therefore
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there will be problems if young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking a year-off.
For example
, visiting to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can be expensive and it will be a burden for your family to pay for your expenditure. Then, you will lack motivation about your future while you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
Next
, you will face difficulties to memorize your previous study after taking a long trip.

Overall
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that youths should have a holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
learning at college or starting their work.
However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off is to
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What causes of the increased demand, and what measures can governments and individuals take to respond to thi v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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