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Foreign language instruction should begin in kindergarten. Discuss and give your opinion.

Foreign language instruction should begin in kindergarten. Discuss and give your opinion. R1JP
People’s opinion differs as to whether or not kindergarten children instructed foreign language. While there are some strong arguments against the teaching of foreign language, I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of teaching system. There are several reasons, why people might argue that foreign language is an unnecessary burden on kindergarten children. Firstly,   there is evidenced to support the idea that foreign language does nothing to improve educational outcomes. Regions such as Tashkent, where kindergarten children do not learn foreign language, and in this region’s pupils are good at learning other subjects. Secondly, many parents would agree that the kindergarten’s system is not aptitude for teaching foreign language. Finally, it is recognized that learning IT technology just as beneficial as study time from the perspective of future occupation at all costs. In spite of the above arguments, I support the view, that foreign language plays important role in kindergarten children's life. The main benefit of teaching foreign language, is that it helps children to become vivid-imiganative people and open up their minds. In doing so, children can accomplish many changes in future. For example,   with a help of foreign language children may travel over the world and can improve the extent of their knowledge. In my view, it is important for children to learn foreign language to attain their targets. To sum up,   learning foreign language certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.
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People
’s opinion differs
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as to whether or not
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kindergarten
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children
instructed
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foreign
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language
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I
still
believe that it is a necessary aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
system.

There are several reasons, why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is an unnecessary burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergarten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
,
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there
is evidenced
to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
does nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational outcomes. Regions such as Tashkent, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergarten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, and in this region’s pupils are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at learning other subjects.
Secondly
,
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many
parents would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
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kindergarten’s
system is not aptitude for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Finally
, it
is recognized
that learning IT technology
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just
as beneficial as study time from the perspective of future occupation at all costs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above arguments, I support the view, that
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foreign
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language
plays
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important
role in
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kindergarten
children's life. The main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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children
to become
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vivid-imiganative
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people
and open up their minds. In doing
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so
,
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children
can accomplish
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many
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changes
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For example
,
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with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may travel over the world and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the extent of their knowledge. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to attain their targets.

To sum up,
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learning
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
certainly
has its drawbacks,
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but
I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.
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IELTS essay Foreign language instruction should begin in kindergarten. Discuss and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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