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Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. To what extent do you agree?

Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. 8wRP
To improve the live of children, fathers and mothers should take part in courses which related with how upbringing the child. It would appears that this issue play an important role in growth rate physically, mentally, and even healthy of those. To begin with, undoubtedly parents should pass some courses to be master in upbringing their children this is because they may do not have adquate knowledge to determine their infant’s action. For instance, when a newborn infant started to cry, it is possible he or she may suffer from a disease or is hungry. If they have knowledge in trems of this primary issue, they will be able to prevent deteriorate infant’s idsease. Furthermore, fortunately, these benefits are more pronounced when a couple marriagng recently and do not have any experience about diet, supplements which are neccessar for their kids. If they do not be aware in trems of apporopriate diet, it may their kids encounter with eating disorder; also, baby food has essential effects in mental growth. According to P&G institute brain growth of children will form in the earlier ages, and diet has an active role in this issue. Consequently, it is important that kids intake nutrient food in during times. To sum up, there is no denial that these classes improve knowledge and skills of fathers and mothers regarding various aspect of rising children because these institutions are up-to-date with latest method in trems of a good upbringing and proper food for growth children.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, fathers and mothers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in courses which related with how upbringing the child. It would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "appear"
appears
that this issue play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate
physically
, mentally, and even healthy of those. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
undoubtedly
parents should pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses to be master in upbringing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may do not have
Possible spelling mistake found.
adquate
knowledge to determine their infant’s action.
For instance
, when a newborn infant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to cry, it is possible he or she may suffer from a disease or is hungry. If they have knowledge in
Possible spelling mistake found.
trems
of this primary issue, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deteriorate infant’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
idsease
.
Furthermore
,
fortunately
, these benefits are more pronounced when a couple
Possible spelling mistake found.
marriagng
recently and do not have any experience about diet, supplements which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessar
for their kids. If they do not be aware in
Possible spelling mistake found.
trems
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
apporopriate
diet, it may their kids encounter with eating disorder;
also
, baby food has essential effects in mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. According to P&G institute brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will form in the earlier ages, and diet has an active role in this issue.
Consequently
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that kids intake nutrient food in during times. To sum up, there is no denial that these classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of fathers and mothers regarding various aspect of rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these institutions are up-to-date with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
method in
Possible spelling mistake found.
trems
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
upbringing and proper food for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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