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For some people, success is measured by the amount of salary one earns from his work. Do you agree with this point of view? Provide relevant examples if necessary

For some people, success is measured by the amount of salary one earns from his work. Do you agree with this point of view? Provide relevant examples if necessary aqLkm

Earning from the business is the way to calculate fame. I would argue with this trend, people cannot judge the famous with its incoming because people enjoy working professionally and also become celebrated. Another reason is people want to fulfill their goals and become famous. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this essay. Firstly, people doing what they want to do happily and also get wages more and more. That’s leads to become achievement. People want to work the field that have same professional and aims that make more enjoyable besides they are earned much wages with well known. A good illustration of this is, Sayar Sai, a famous visualizer in Myanmar, he loves to work designing urban building. Also, his design looks professional and leads to popular. This is the fact, achievement is estimated by his working professional and his best hard work. Secondly, people want to achieve their destination and lead to popular. Some walk to their self- achievement not only as work but also as hobby. They try hard and also start to noted by people. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo, a football player, he does not try to find business which he can do advertising and earn money. His real well known is accomplish in competition. Taking everything into consideration, accomplishment is calculated by hardworking and self-achievement.

Earning from the business is the way to calculate fame. I would argue with this trend, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 cannot judge the This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
 with its incoming This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 enjoy working professionally
 and also
 become celebrated. Another reason is You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to fulfill their goals and become This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
. In my opinion, I strongly
 disagree with this essay.

Firstly
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 doing what they You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to do happily
 and also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 wages more and more. That’s leads to become achievement. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to work the field that have same professional and aims that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 more enjoyable besides
 they are earned
Use "many" with countable nouns.many
much
 wages with well known. A This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 illustration of this is, Possible spelling mistake found.SaarSamar
Sayar
Possible spelling mistake found.SAISaidSanSawSaySat
Sai
, a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
 visualizer in Myanmar, he This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :admiresadores
loves
 to work designing urban building. Also
, his design looks professional and leads to popular. This is the fact, achievement is estimated
 by his working professional and his best This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 work.

Secondly
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to achieve their destination and lead to popular. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
 walk to their self- achievement not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 as work This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
also
 as hobby. They try This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 and also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
 to noted by You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
. For instance
, Cristiano Ronaldo, a football player, he does not try to find business which he can The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go advertising".go advertising
do advertising
 and earn money. His real well known is Consider using a past participle here: "accomplished".accomplished
accomplish
 in competition.

Taking everything into consideration, accomplishment is calculated
 by hardworking and self-achievement. 