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For many employers, formal academic qualifications are becoming more important than experience? Why is that? Is it a positive or negative development v.1

For many employers, formal academic qualifications are becoming more important than experience? Why is that? Is it a positive or negative development v. 1
In recent years, it is undeniable that academic qualifications are considered a more crucial factor than experience in terms of the recruitment process. Although this trend can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions should be done to address this due to its negative implications on both society and individuals. There is a myriad of compelling reasons why academic qualifications are prefered these days, among which the primary one is that it reveals not only academic prowess but also their personalities. Firstly, since university curriculums provide students with in-depth knowledge with the purpose to generate a quality workforce for the labour market, academic qualification holders, especially top achievers, are well-equipped with sufficient specialized knowledge. This means that they are able to devote more to the enterprises compared to other candidates without any degrees. Furthermore, to obtain a degree, it is mandatory for students to exert themselves to rigorous study as the tertiary programme are challenging and demanding. Therefore, these students are usually hard-working and tenacious, thus, their productivity tends to be better. Although this trend appears attractive, the negative impacts brought about by it on society are becoming more evident. First of all, emphasis on formal degrees may discourage students from developing their interpersonal skills and accumulating hands-on work experience, thus, creates an unskilled workforce. Moreover, if employers have a propensity to recruit applicants based on their degrees, it will be a misleading perspective that people are only required to pass exams to have jobs. A typical example of this case is that in Vietnam, the unemployment rate has been increased among fresh graduates due to their lack of experience. In conclusion, there are various reasons why some employers prefer people with academic qualifications rather than those who only have the life experience or good personalities and I think that it is a negative development.
In recent years, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are considered
a more crucial factor than experience in terms of the recruitment process. Although this trend can
be attributed
to a whole host of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions should
be done
to address this due to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications on both society and individuals.

There is a myriad of compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
these days, among which the primary one is that it reveals not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
prowess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their personalities.
Firstly
, since university curriculums provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with in-depth knowledge with the purpose to generate a quality workforce for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
holders,
especially
top achievers, are well-equipped with sufficient specialized knowledge. This means that they are able to devote more to the enterprises compared to other candidates without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
.
Furthermore
, to obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, it is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to exert themselves to rigorous study as the tertiary
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
are challenging and demanding.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and tenacious,
thus
, their productivity tends to be better.

Although this trend appears attractive, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts brought about by it on society are becoming more evident.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, emphasis on formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
may discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from developing their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and accumulating hands-on work experience,
thus
, creates an unskilled workforce.
Moreover
, if employers have a propensity to recruit applicants based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
, it will be a misleading perspective that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
required to pass exams to have jobs. A typical example of this case is that in Vietnam, the unemployment rate has
been increased
among fresh graduates due to their lack of experience.

In conclusion
, there are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
rather
than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have the life experience or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personalities and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay For many employers, formal academic qualifications are becoming more important than experience? Why is that? Is it a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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