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Sports as a subject in school education

Sports as a subject in school education kYBdR
Sports occupies a vital space in our lives. It keeps man physically, mentally fit and healthy. Sports is a such activity that can be taken up by any individual irrespective of his age. They can take part in sports at any age. Apart from keeping you fit and healthy it help you to remain more active in you daily routine. Education is necessary for every children as it sharps theirs brain and increases their learning ability. on other hand sports play equally important role as education it will make children more active in studies. Sports as a subject is very helpful for children as they are overburden with studies, it helps them to take off their stress and keep them fit. Sports provides children a another level of refreshment. So every school should consider sports as important as education. Their must be balance between both so that children can study smoothly.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "sport occupies".
Sports occupies
a vital space in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
physically
, mentally fit and healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is a such activity that can
be taken
up by any individual irrespective of his age. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at any age. Apart from keeping you fit and healthy it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
you to remain more active in you daily routine. Education is necessary for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
as it sharps theirs brain and increases their learning ability.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role as education it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more active in studies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
as a subject is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they are
Consider using a past participle here: "overburdened".
overburden
with studies, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to take off their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "sport provides".
Sports provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
another level of refreshment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
every school should consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as education. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balance between both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can study
smoothly
.

IELTS essay Sports as a subject in school education

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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