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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? qYkw
It is an obvious fact that financial aspects are a major part of the daily life, as an adult and even as a young individual. Each and every one of us has to make financial decisions concerning recreation, health, education and more. The question is whether to start with financial education as part of school program or to postpone it for a later stage in life. To begin with, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works and to interpret financial news and its implications is a virtue. Without this virtue, an individual, even a young one, might suffer to some extent. For an example, a child who doesn’t understand the concept of money might find it more difficult to except choosing only one present out of more possible ones. In addition, many adults are lacking capability of financial analysis. Quite often, the reason can be the lack of sound foundations or insecurity when it comes to financial terms and concepts. Starting from an early age, building a strong background, can very likely prevent such situation.
It is an obvious fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aspects are a major part of the daily life, as an adult and even as a young individual.
Consider using "Each one".
Each and every one
of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
decisions concerning recreation, health, education and more. The question is whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education as part of school program or to postpone it for a later stage in life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works and to interpret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
news and its implications is a virtue. Without this virtue, an individual, even a young one, might suffer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. For an example, a child who doesn’t understand the concept of money might find it more difficult to except choosing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one present out of more possible ones.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults are lacking capability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
analysis. Quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, the reason can be the lack of sound foundations or insecurity when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
terms and concepts. Starting from an early age, building a strong background, can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such situation.
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IELTS essay Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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