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Films can teach us about another country and I have learned a lot about The America from watching its films

Films can teach us about another country and I have learned a lot about The America from watching its films 73KGy
Firstly, watching a film is enjoyable and we are also learning different culture and amazing places. Actually we can see thanks to films with we could not see countries. People’s might be haven’t opportunity for visit to another country, but we are watching many different country films at ours home. For instance, I love watch The Hollywood films especially as to passed in the Hawaii Island. First of all, this island is wonderful and it has amazing ocean, green area. I watch while I can see many good beaches with cover up golden sand and palm threes. I am also learn about their culture, eat habit, how are their life. Most especially, I interest with local people because they have special culture, foods and relationship. Secondly, we can learn their country, life style, foods, and I think most important issue I have learned is the English language because I want to improve my English language. In conclusion, there are many different reasons maybe=perhaps just learn foreign culture, new cities, new life style and history. Everybody can learn anything filed of interest definitely.
Firstly
, watching a film is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enjoyable and
we are
also
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and amazing places. Actually we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
thanks to films with we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s might be haven’t opportunity for visit to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
films at ours home.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
The Hollywood films
especially
as to passed in the Hawaii Island.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this island is wonderful and it has amazing ocean, green area. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
while I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
beaches with cover up golden sand and palm threes. I am
also
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, eat habit, how are their life. Most
especially
, I interest with local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, foods and relationship.
Secondly
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, life style, foods, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue I have learned is the English language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my English language.
In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons maybe=perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, new cities, new life style and history. Everybody can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
anything filed of interest definitely.
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IELTS essay Films can teach us about another country and I have learned a lot about The America from watching its films

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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