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people have jobs because they need money to what are some other important that people have jobs.

people have jobs because they need money to what are some other important that people have jobs. AwQNw
Individuals have to work in a job and they need money for different goals such as education, health care costs, foods. I think they are not indeed the only reasons for work. People also enjoy going to the office or a store each day as they feel make difference when they help to cilients or anyone. One reason is that some people work to gain experience. For instance, it is significant for young students to work because they want to be experienced When they graduate from school. So they might be find a great job. Another reason is that people desire to socialize)with their co-workers, clients or other people because sitting at home is boring for us. For example, I have not worked since my son’s birth and sometimes I feel depressed, become unhappy because I worked for 20 years, but now I am sitting at home and I cannot see my friends go out for fun. In conclusion, earning money is significant but I think it is not the only reason to work. More importantly, people should be happy and improve themselves.
Individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they need money for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
goals such as education, health care costs, foods. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are not
indeed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
enjoy going to the office or a store each day as they feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difference when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
cilients
or anyone. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to gain experience.
For instance
, it is significant for young students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
be experienced
When they graduate from school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they might be
Consider using a past participle here: "found".
find
a great job.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to socialize
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
with their co-workers, clients or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sitting at home is boring for us.
For example
, I have not worked since my son’s birth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I feel depressed, become unhappy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I worked for 20 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am sitting at home and I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my friends go out for fun.
In conclusion
, earning money is significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.
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IELTS essay people have jobs because they need money to what are some other important that people have jobs.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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