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Films and television really influence how people behave significantly

Films and television really influence how people behave significantly K3wBM
The advent of movies and television brought about great changes in our modern life. Some people suggest they are purely a form of entertainment, while others think they play an important role in the society. In my opinion, I think films and television really influence how people behave significantly. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, films and television provide general public with a lot of negative role models, which many people are willing to emulate. These days, the so-called “anti-hero” is a big part of popular culture. This is a type of character who acts badly around other people, ignores the rules of society and has a really misanthropic attitude. Commonly, these characters glorify excessive violence and drug use. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was in high school, a close friend of mine was a huge fan of characters like this. While he started high school as a straight-A student, he later began to watch a lot of films which gave him the impression that taking drugs and fighting with his classmates was amusing and even desirable behavior. As a result, he barely finished high school and is now unemployed. Had he not watched so many terrible movies, he would not be in such a desperate situation today. Secondly, TV programs and movies also provide people with many positive role models. For people who desire to watch wholesome shows, there are many family-friendly options to choose from. Programs of this type showcase functioning and stable families. They don’t just show traditional and conservative families, but caring, loving people from many different backgrounds and with many different beliefs. For instance, my family often takes inspiration from the parents and children we see on our favorite family drama, “The Chens”. We are not always able to live up to the ideals the show presents to us, but they positively influence the way we behave every day. We are really thankful for the impact it has on our lives. In conclusion, I strongly believe that television and movies do influence the way almost everyone behave in modern society. This is because some movies cause us to act in detrimental ways, and because other shows inspire us to emulate and embrace positive values.
The advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
brought about great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our modern life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest they are
purely
a form of entertainment, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the society. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
films and
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television
really
influence how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave
significantly
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provide
Consider using "public".
general public
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
role models, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to emulate. These days, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called “anti-hero” is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of popular culture. This is a type of character who acts
badly
around other
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people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of society and has a
really
misanthropic attitude.
Commonly
, these characters glorify excessive violence and drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was in high school, a close friend of mine was a huge fan of characters like this. While he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
high school as a straight-A student, he later began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
films which gave him the impression that taking drugs and fighting with his classmates was amusing and even desirable behavior.
As a result
, he
barely
finished high school and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unemployed. Had he not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
terrible
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movies
, he would not be in such a desperate situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Secondly
, TV programs and
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movies
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role models. For
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people
who desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
family-friendly options to choose from. Programs of this type showcase functioning and stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
traditional and conservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
caring, loving
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people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes inspiration from the parents and children we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on our favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
drama, “The
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Chens
”. We are not always able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to the ideals the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
presents to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
positively
influence the way we behave every day. We are
really
thankful for the impact it has on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
do influence the way almost everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "behaves", "behaved".
behave
in modern society. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
cause us to act in detrimental ways, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
inspire us to emulate and embrace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
values.
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IELTS essay Films and television really influence how people behave significantly

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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