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Online shopping for books, groceries and air tickets is increasing in world.do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Online shopping for books, groceries and air tickets is increasing in world. do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages? 2xbWb
The growing mechanism made the life easier. There is a global trend nowadays people purchase all the things such as study material, food items and air tickets from the internet. There are numerous merits and drawbacks of this worldwide phenomenon. This essay tends to discuss some of these benefits and disadvantages and analyse them carefully in forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are plenty of advantages of online shopping. Firstly, people get a number of different choices on online shopping sites at a reasonable price. To explicate it, due to advancement in technology and high competition among online shopping companies, everyone provide best quality things and of less price for the satisfaction of customers and it directly benefit the consumers. Secondly, on special occasions and festivals, these e-shopping sites gives heavy discount which is a leading reason for the popularity of this trend. For instance, Amazon provide all the things in one touch because of easy accessibility it is the highest rated site on Google. Hence, online shopping save the valueable time of individuals by initiating things within seconds. On the contrary, there are several disadvantage of network shopping. Due to grow interest of people on teleshopping, the local shop owners gets a heavy loss and it suffers the weaker section of the society. Adding more to this, humans often get confused because of high number of choices and also compromise with the quality of products and online shopping companies do not provide guarantee of their stuff. As a result, there is growing number of cyber crimes in recent time. In conclusion, although teleshopping saves the time of buyer yet shopping offline build loyalty between retailers and purchasers. Thus, the disadvantages outweigh the number of advantages of online shopping.
The growing mechanism made the life easier. There is a global trend nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
all the things such as study material, food items and air tickets from the internet. There are numerous merits and drawbacks of this worldwide phenomenon. This essay tends to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these benefits and disadvantages and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
them
carefully
in forthcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choices on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sites at a reasonable price. To explicate it, due to advancement in technology and high competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, everyone
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
quality things and of less price for the satisfaction of customers and it
directly
Did you mean "benefits"?
benefit
the consumers.
Secondly
, on special occasions and festivals, these e-shopping sites gives heavy discount which is a leading reason for the popularity of this trend.
For instance
, Amazon provide all the things in one touch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of easy accessibility it is the highest rated site on Google.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
save the
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueable
time of individuals by initiating things within seconds.

On the contrary
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun disadvantage seems to be countable; consider using: "several disadvantages".
several disadvantage
of network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Due to grow interest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
teleshopping
, the local shop owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a heavy loss and it suffers the weaker section of the society. Adding more to this, humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of choices and
also
compromise with the quality of products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not provide guarantee of their stuff.
As a result
, there is growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cyber crimes in recent time.

In conclusion
, although
Possible spelling mistake found.
teleshopping
saves the time of buyer
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offline build loyalty between retailers and purchasers.
Thus
, the disadvantages outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping for books, groceries and air tickets is increasing in world. do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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