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Figures show that in some countries there is an ever increasing proportion of population aged 15 or younger What do you think the effect of current and future in those countries v.1

Figures show that in some countries there is an ever increasing proportion of population aged 15 or younger What do you think the effect of current and future in those countries v. 1
In fact, the world encounters many challenges that seem serious nowadays. The most significant problems are related to the environment surrounding us which impact our lives accordingly. Some argue that technology is the best way to solve these problems, but I believe that establishing rules and policies are among the effective solutions. Technological advancements enable the researchers to invent novel approaches in order to find solutions for global issues like pollution and climate change. These developments have led to the production of several environmentally-friendly energy sources that could be safely used instead of traditional ones. Recently, many countries, for example, go towards utilizing these sources such as wind and solar energy which can significantly decrease the amount of carbon dioxide emissions that result from factories and cars' engine and then protect the environment from their harmful consequences. As a result, continuous improvements in technology will assist in maintaining our environment in a proper condition. In addition to technology, imposing strict policies can considerably support the resolution of numerous global environmental issues. For instance, effective implementation of sanctions on individuals, institutions, and plants that transgress those regulations will enhance stopping further dangerous impacts on the environment. United States and many other European countries have adopted this trend lately. For this reason, countries should cooperate and encourage each other to establish active rules for our environment protection. In conclusion, preserving the environment should be our main concern in the coming days. Although technological inventions are beneficial, practical regulations and policies have critical influence on solving a lot of ecological problems we all face these days.
In fact, the world encounters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges that seem serious nowadays. The most significant problems
are related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
surrounding us which impact our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
accordingly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that technology is the best way to solve these problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that establishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and policies are among the effective solutions.

Technological advancements enable the researchers to invent novel approaches in order to find solutions for global issues like pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. These developments have led to the production of several
environmentally
-friendly energy sources that could be
safely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
of traditional ones. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
for example
, go towards utilizing these sources such as wind and solar energy which can
significantly
decrease the amount of carbon dioxide emissions that result from factories and cars' engine and then protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
from their harmful consequences.
As a result
, continuous improvements in technology will assist in maintaining our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in a proper condition.

In addition
to technology, imposing strict policies can
considerably
support the resolution of numerous global environmental issues.
For instance
, effective implementation of sanctions on individuals, institutions, and plants that transgress those regulations will enhance stopping
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. United States and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other European countries have adopted this trend lately.
For this reason
, countries should cooperate and encourage each other to establish active
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
protection.

In conclusion
, preserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should be our main concern in the coming days. Although technological inventions are beneficial, practical regulations and policies have critical influence on solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ecological problems we all face these days.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Figures show that in some countries there is an ever increasing proportion of population aged 15 or younger What do you think the effect of current and future in those countries v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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