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festivals are best to bring people together

festivals are best to bring people together G9QLB
Bringing people together through music has taken many forms in India, including Ganpati visarjan, Poojas performed in temples, Garba nights, and many concerts. As a result, people can gather and enjoy the music. Even in this category, there are different types of music, such as DJ nights songs, and prayers and devotional songs are played in temples. And even people are divided based on their preferences. Because new generations are drawn to beats music, many of them enjoy attending Ganapati Visarjan and even purchasing tickets to various concerts. On the other hand, elderly people enjoy visiting temples and singing devotional and silent songs. Even though, many people enjoy all types of music. Yes, we can say that music is a great way to bring people together, but in some cases, loud music can be harmful to the ears of small children and even the older adults. Individuals must control noise pollution and play music at a low volume so that it does not affect aged people people or animals. Music is not the only way to bring people together, in many cultures various festivals and rituals are performed to bring people together. Such as the Diwali "festivals of light, " the Maha Kumbh Mela, which attracts over 100 million people from all over the world, and the obon festival of lanterns in Japan, which lasts three days and many more. Bringing people together through festivals or music is a good thing, but each festival must be environmentally friendly, avoiding noise pollution, air pollution, and water pollution.
Bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms in India, including
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganpati
Possible spelling mistake found.
visarjan
,
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Poojas
performed in temples,
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Garba
nights, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerts.
As a result
,
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people
can gather and
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enjoy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Even in this category, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, such as DJ nights songs, and prayers and devotional songs
are played
in temples. And even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are divided
based on their preferences.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
new generations
are drawn
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "beat".
beats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
attending
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganapati
Possible spelling mistake found.
Visarjan
and even purchasing tickets to various concerts.
On the other hand
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
visiting temples and singing devotional and silent songs.
Even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
all types of music.

Yes, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a great way to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, loud
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music
can be harmful to the ears of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children and even the older adults. Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at a low volume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it does not affect aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or animals.

Music is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and rituals
are performed
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. Such as the Diwali
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
festivals of light,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kumbh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mela
, which attracts over 100 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world, and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
obon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
of lanterns in Japan, which lasts three days and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

Bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
environmentally
friendly, avoiding noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
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IELTS essay festivals are best to bring people together

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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