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strict punishment or other measurement disscuss and given your opinion

strict punishment or other measurement disscuss and given your opinion PRxRK
Nowadays, people have different views about whether other measures or strict punishments would be more powerful to reduce traffic accidents. On the one hand, the traffic light and passageway must construct in each street mainly, beside the residential and school areas. For example, predominantly irresponsible pedestrians cause road accidents, and sometimes the stale traffic light can be distracting human attention. Furthermore, the traffic lights and crosses must be refurbishment by the government also it can prevent road crashes. Consequently, the build of the new passageway should remove the extreme danger for drivers and reduce traffic problems in the major cities. On the other hand, punishments ought to become stricter, and speed cameras must become more common. Additionally, advertising about road safety has to show regularly in various types of media sectors. For instance: Driving while tired or drunk is extremely dangerous, and if the driver were drinking alcohol, it could create a terrible road accident. Therefore, the police should restrict the drivers' license for a long time. Moreover, mobile phones can be a dangerous distraction for drivers, so that speed cameras detect the driver who was broke the rule. In this case, the driver's license of a person who drives the transport before the accident must discard for one year. Finally, the severe disciplines positively influence the person who manages the transport irrationally. In conclusion, although the use of strict disciplines in road safety is significant and undeniable, it still other solutions impact positively on the issue.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether other measures or strict punishments would be more powerful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
light and passageway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
construct in each street
mainly
, beside the residential and school areas.
For example
,
predominantly
irresponsible pedestrians cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the stale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
light can be distracting human attention.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
lights and crosses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be refurbishment by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
crashes.
Consequently
, the build of the new passageway should remove the extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems in the major cities.

On the other hand
, punishments ought to become stricter, and speed cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become more common.
Additionally
, advertising about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
regularly
in various types of media sectors.
For instance
: Driving while tired or drunk is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
were drinking alcohol, it could create a terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accident.
Therefore
, the police should restrict the drivers' license for a long time.
Moreover
, mobile phones can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
distraction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that speed cameras detect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
who was broke the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.
In this case
, the driver's license of a person who drives the transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the accident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
discard for one year.
Finally
, the severe disciplines
positively
influence the person who manages the transport
irrationally
.

In conclusion
, although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of strict disciplines in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety is significant and undeniable, it
still
other solutions impact
positively
on the issue.
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IELTS essay strict punishment or other measurement disscuss and given your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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