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Fast pace and stress of modern life

Fast pace and stress of modern life MwEOk
There is currently a contentious argument that families are being negatively affected by the high speed and pressure of modern life. I totally agree with this opinion as the fast pace leads to less family meals with enough members, and stress leads to broken marriages. The main reason why I support the argument is that families have less meals with full members. This is due to family members being busier at work and their social life. People often work overtime or go out late with their friends so they do not have time to come home for dinner. To illustrate, in my family, my parents usually have lunch at work while I eat lunch at school. At dinner, my parents often come home late from work and I have to attend extra classes. As a result, we rarely have meals together. Another reason why I support the notion that families are being impacted negatively is that the pressure of modern life increases the chance of family members getting divorced. When a person is stressed, it is easy to get angry with others and have arguments, when not resolving that quarrel will lead to a divorce decision. For example, my cousin used to be in this situation, after marriages, because of financial pressure, house, children, the two of them often quarreled. They had to endure each other for many years, and finally, they could not stand each other, so they decided to end their married life. In conclusion, I totally agree that the fast-moving and stressful nature of the current competitive world is ruining family relationships. This is because family members have less time to eat together and divorces are happening more frequently in couples.
There is
currently
a contentious argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are being
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the high speed and pressure of modern life. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace leads to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
meals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
leads to broken marriages.

The main reason why I support the argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun meals is countable.
less
meals with full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. This is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
being busier at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and their social life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime or go out late with their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home for dinner. To illustrate, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, my parents
usually
have lunch at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while I eat lunch at school. At dinner, my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home late from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend extra classes.
As a result
, we rarely have meals together.

Another reason why I support the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
being impacted
negatively
is that the pressure of modern life increases the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
getting divorced. When a person is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
angry with others and have arguments, when not resolving that quarrel will lead to a divorce decision.
For example
, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in this situation, after marriages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial pressure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, children, the two of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quarreled. They had to endure each other for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, and
finally
, they could not stand each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their married life.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving and stressful nature of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
competitive world is ruining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have less time to eat together and divorces are happening more
frequently
in couples.
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IELTS essay Fast pace and stress of modern life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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