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Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this? B0Xm
Fast foods has became increasingly popular in the past 50 years. Most of them says it is a positive development while others are opposing it. In this essay, will explain why it is harmful for us. First of all, it contains mainly fats and sugars in it. These causes the major health issues like obesity and diabetes which makes a person less healthy and decreases the rate of living. By these problems the rate of living will be decreased. Then these foods contain some acids like acetone which are non-digestible for some people then results in diaheria-sometimes food poisoning. So by these reasons it should be consumed a very little or none for the sake of our health. But, most of the people does not care about these things. Moreover, the companies like MC Donald’s and KFC are attracting the children by placing the clown type idols in their centers and providing some parties which are familiar to special occasions like birthdays and so on. Most of them are attracted by it and continuing it through their adulthood. This may brings a lot of enjoyable moments to them but as the time flies they become less healthier. Some times it brings a great risks to the person in terms of their health. In conclusion, I assume that, eating these foods may leads to lower living rate or less healthy in the society. In my opinion, we should completely avoid these foods and make our lives more healthier by consumable foods or traditional foods. For this issue some awareness programs should be done by government in terms to provide a better health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
increasingly
popular in the past 50 years. Most of them says it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development while others are opposing it. In this essay, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is harmful for us.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it contains
mainly
fats and sugars in it. These causes the major health issues like obesity and diabetes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person less healthy and decreases the rate of living. By these problems the rate of living will
be decreased
. Then these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
acids like acetone which are non-digestible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
then results in diaheria-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
poisoning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
by these reasons it should
be consumed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or none for the sake of our health.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
does not care about these things.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like MC Donald’s and KFC are attracting the children by placing the clown type idols in their centers and providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parties which are familiar to special occasions like birthdays and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Most of them
are attracted
by it and continuing it through their adulthood. This may brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
enjoyable moments to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as the time flies they become
Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean "less healthy"?
less healthier
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
times it brings a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to the person in terms of their health.

In conclusion
, I assume that, eating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may leads to lower living rate or less healthy in the society. In my opinion, we should completely avoid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
by consumable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. For this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awareness programs should
be done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in terms to provide a better health.
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IELTS essay Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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