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Some governments say how many children a family can hare in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Some governments say how many children a family can hare in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. RrOY
Mushrooming population causes various problems in many nations. Therefore, it is said by a stratum of countries that every family should not have many chidren and they think that it may be controlled by imposing taxes. I partially discord with this statement because in many nations lots of people are not able to pay taxes and i will defend my views below in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, one of the major causes is that many times, women give birth to abnormal child due to which they have to plan for other children. Therefore, it would be wrong if these kinds of individuals are punished to pay taxes on child birth. Moreover, in many countries a large number of people exist below poverty line because of which the unnecesasary tax on child birth may adversely affect on their wealth. Apart from it, On the other hand, it is extremely effective way to manage the increasing population. Since, it does not only reduce the population but also it benefits the government by paying money in the form of taxes. Moreover, some groups of poor people give birth to many children for sending them in labour markets to earn money. For instance, in India, many poor families born atleast four to five chidren for earning money by doing labour works however, they would not be able to pay taxes and hence they will limit the more child birth. To conclude, the government should control the increasing population by taking some strict steps because it will create some serious problems regarding lack of food and space to accommodate this. So, it is better to manage it through taxes as a mass of people are unable to meet it.
Mushrooming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
causes various problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations.
Therefore
, it
is said
by a stratum of countries that every family should not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chidren and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it may
be controlled
by imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. I
partially
discord with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will defend my views below in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the major causes is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, women give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to abnormal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
due to which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
plan for other children.
Therefore
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
if these kinds of individuals
are punished
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exist below poverty line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unnecesasary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
may
adversely
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their wealth. Apart from it,

On the other hand
, it is
extremely
effective way to manage the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Since, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it benefits the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by paying money in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children for sending them in
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets to earn money.
For instance
, in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor families born
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
four to five
Possible spelling mistake found.
chidren
for earning money by doing
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
works
however
, they would not be able to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and
hence
they will limit the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
birth.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems regarding lack of food and space to accommodate this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better to manage it through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
as a mass of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
it.
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IELTS essay Some governments say how many children a family can hare in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some governments say how many children a family can hare in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.