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Famous Kazakh painter Abilkhan Kasteyev. "Turksib railway" 1969 State Art Museum of Kazakhstan

Famous Kazakh painter Abilkhan Kasteyev. "Turksib railway" 1969 State Art Museum of Kazakhstan gAWBA
The picture Turksib is one of the most popular pictures in Kazakh national art base. Probably, everyone saw this picture on schoolbook`s pages often, because this work relates to the important history actions. Abilkhan Kasteev, author this work, famous for his status as founder of Kazakh paint art. He could give seers information about the great history event and about the magnificent views of Kazakh nature on his artwork using great moment and composition. To take a good photo, modern photographs must get the best moment to give more information to seers. Therefore, in paint pictures good moment must be too. But Kasteev had to make such moment in his imagination rather than just to catch. Kasteev painted there a people, who have good and bright clothes. It shows us their great mood, and feelings of happy. People`s actions as wave with hands and as they observe the train shows us happies of people, who saw result of hard labor. The coming some men by horses gives us understanding that they are surprised because they are coming there to saw a new transport a new invention for Kazakh steppe. Kasteev give information about feeling people and their emotions using not only his imagination and his memories. It worth saying that Kasteev worked in building this railway. Naturally he saw this situation and atmosphere and conveyed to modern community via his artwork. He tried these emotions, so picture has dynamic composition which describes it. Painter could perfectly connect Train and men on horses, which are in motions, and picturesque views of beautiful nature of Kazakh steppe, which is in the background. To conclude Turksib is gold jewel of Kazakh art-media base. When people see this picture, they get feeling and mood of their roots. Picture describes the useful information about our history. We remember this view forever, which is remembered since our school days.
The
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picture
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Turksib
is one of the most popular
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pictures
in Kazakh national art base.
Probably
, everyone
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saw
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
on
The character between 'schoolbook' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "schoolbook’s" (curly apostrophe) or "schoolbook's" (straight apostrophe).
schoolbook`s
pages
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often
,
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because
this work relates to the
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important
history actions.
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Abilkhan
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Kasteev
, author this work,
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famous
for his status as founder of Kazakh paint art. He could
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give
seers
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information
about the great history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and about the magnificent views of Kazakh nature on his artwork using great
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moment
and composition.

To take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
photo, modern photographs
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must
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get
the best
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moment
to
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give
more
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information
to seers.
Therefore
, in paint
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pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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moment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be too.
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But
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Kasteev
had to
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make
such
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moment
in his imagination
rather
than
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just
to catch.
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Kasteev
painted there a
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people
, who have
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good
and bright clothes. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us their great mood, and feelings of happy.
The character between 'People' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "People’s" (curly apostrophe) or "People's" (straight apostrophe).
People`s
actions as wave with hands and as they observe the train
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shows
us
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happies
of
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people
, who
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saw
result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
labor. The coming
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
by horses
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gives
us understanding that they
are surprised
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because
they are coming there to
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saw
a new transport a new invention for Kazakh steppe.

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Kasteev
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give
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information
about feeling
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people
and their emotions using not
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only
his imagination and his memories.
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It
worth saying that
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Kasteev
worked in building this railway.
Naturally
he
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saw
this situation and atmosphere and conveyed to modern community via his artwork. He tried these emotions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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picture
has dynamic composition which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
it. Painter could
perfectly
connect Train and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
on horses, which are in motions, and picturesque views of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
nature of Kazakh steppe, which is in the background.

To conclude
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Turksib
is gold jewel of Kazakh art-media base. When
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this
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picture
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feeling and mood of their roots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about our history. We remember this view forever, which
is remembered
since our school days.
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IELTS essay Famous Kazakh painter Abilkhan Kasteyev. "Turksib railway" 1969 State Art Museum of Kazakhstan

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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