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famous business person in the world

famous business person in the world 7JX2y
I think Steve Jobs is the most famous business person in the world. He is a founder of Apple that produce a lot of software like iPhone and Mac. He is also a promoter and industrial designer. In addition, He is CEO of NeXT and Pixar Animation. I like his personality. Especially, I like one of the his well-known saying that "Innovation is usually failure. The most important thing is doing your best to success other innovation. " This saying conveys that he never gives up. Also, he is known that he is very strict to others. He often lay off a number of people who don't do good work. However, he is strict himself too. He start working everyday after considering that today is his last day. This attitude is important in any occupation.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Steve Jobs is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
business person in the world. He is a founder of Apple that produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
software like iPhone and Mac. He is
also
a promoter and industrial designer.
In addition
, He is CEO of
Possible spelling mistake found.
NeXT
and Pixar Animation. I like his personality.
Especially
, I like one of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "his well-known" or "the well-known"?
the his well-known
saying that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Innovation is
usually
failure. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is doing your best to success other innovation.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This saying conveys that he never gives up.
Also
, he
is known
that he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict to others. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lay off a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who don't do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work.
However
, he is strict himself too. He
The pronoun 'He' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "starts", "started".
start
working
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
after considering that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is his last day. This attitude is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in any occupation.
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IELTS essay famous business person in the world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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