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Facebook and other social media applications have negative impact on individuals. To what extent do you agree?

Social media is very helpful for us but sometimes a couple of problems emerge due to the same. In the ultramodern epoch, it is a point of debate that social media applications like whatsapp, facebook have negative impact on us. I totally concur with this notion. This essay would cast light on my reasons with suitable examples There are myriad reasons in my favour. First and foremost, the social media affects our brain. If we see social media a lot then it affects the mental health of a person. For example, according to a survey was conducted by universities related to mental health, there is an increasing in number of disorder patients due to the social media applications. Moreover, it also effects our light vision of our eyes. If we see the any social media application with high brightness then the result is low eye vision. Last year, many people lost their light vision due to the seeing the social media applications. Furthermore, social media also effects the study of the students. Nowadays students are not doing focus on their studies. They spending more time on social media applications. For Instance, in a recent study, the number of failure students is increasing day by day because of social media applications. Students spent around 6 hours on social media applications. To be conclude, if we cross the limit of anything, then it will difficult for our future. So, we should use the social media applications in limit. Although there are a lot of pros and cons of social media, demerits outweigh the merits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a couple of problems emerge due to the same. In the ultramodern epoch, it is a point of debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on us. I
totally
concur with this notion. This essay would cast light on my reasons with suitable examples

There are myriad reasons in my
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
affects our brain. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
a lot then it affects the mental health of a person.
For example
, according to a survey
was conducted
by universities related to mental health, there is an increasing in number of disorder patients due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
.
Moreover
, it
also
effects our light vision of our eyes. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
with high brightness then the result is low eye vision. Last year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lost their light vision due to the seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
effects the study of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not doing focus on their studies.
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “They’re spending”, “They are spending”, or “They were spending”?
They spending
more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
.
For Instance
, in a recent study, the number of failure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is increasing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
spent around 6 hours on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications.

To
The past participle is required after “To be”, alternatively you could omit the “be”.
be conclude
, if we cross the limit of anything, then it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will difficult
for our future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
in limit. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, demerits outweigh the merits.
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IELTS essay Facebook and other social media applications have negative impact on individuals.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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